This Is A Call
by ArtEstMAime
Summary: Bella pretends to be a normal, happy 17 year old Senior, just trying to get by. Even her best friend has no idea how absolutely terrified she is for her future. Edward is the star pitcher and top jock of Forks High. He seems to have a not-so-innocent reputation, but also has some secrets of his own. Will they be able to keep up the facade? AH/AU, OOC, RATED M for Adult Content
1. Fake Smile

**A/N:** So I decided to try something new. "It's Not Your Fault" just wasn't getting the response I thought it would after posting the last 3 chapters. This new story was inspired by the song 'This Is A Call' by Thousand Foot Krutch, one of my all time favorite bands. I was a fan before they ever became popular. This song is very sad. TFK is a Christian Rock band and although I am Catholic, I am non-practicing. And although their songs are about faith as a Christian, I don't think I am going to have Bella or Edward be practicing Christians...The song has a line "Well if you're real then save me Jesus", and with that line, I think it is safe for me to sway from the religious aspect of the song. I am planning on this story being rated 'M' for it's sexual conduct, language, under-age alcohol use, and minor drug-use (marijuana).

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters, Stephenie Meyer does. Also, the song 'This Is A Call' belongs to Thousand Foot Krutch and the ringtone 'Be My Escape' belongs to Relient K. The poem at the bottom belongs solely to me, so please do not steal or reproduce it.**

* * *

_**This is A Call**_

_She fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong,_

_but she still sleeps with her light on,_

_and she acts like_

_It's all right on, as she smiles again and her mother lies there sick with cancer,_

_and her friends don't understand her,_

_she's a question without answers,_

_who feels like falling apart._

_She knows, she's so much more than worthless,_

_but she needs to find her purpose,_

_she wonders what she did to deserve this and..._

**Chapter 1 - Fake Smiles**

**Bella's POV**

Here's to another day of high school. More than half-way through my Senior year! _See. I can be a 'half glass full' kind of girl_. I wasn't always a cynic for life. The past year has put a lot of strain on my life... well not just my life, but my family's life, too.

"AHHHHH! Bella!" _Alice._ I rolled my eyes as I stepped out of my truck. _Here we go. Put on your game face, Bella._

"Aly! What's up?" I asked as Alice looked about ready to jump out of her skin as she approached me.

_Oh, Alice. _Miss Mary Alice Brandon was my best friend. We've known each other since we were in diapers. Alice is the shortest person I know. I'm not that tall myself, standing only 5'4", but Alice barely hits 5'. Her hair is long and brown like mine, just more curly than my simple wave. And her hazel eyes practically pop-out when she gets excited. She is very bubbly, that one. We are polar opposites in personality, but I think that's why we work as friends. I'm not saying that I'm shy by any means. I would classify it more as... reserved. Once you really get to know me, I've been known to be quite a firecracker. I don't let just anyone get to know me, though. Alice, on the other hand, is friends with just about everyone, no matter what 'clique' they are in. I'm just glad that she didn't expect me to do the same and that our friendship was just as strong as that day in the sandbox 17 years ago. Thankfully so, because without Alice, I don't think I would have been able to hide my emotional state from the public. I mean, Forks, Washington, was a small town, so it's not like everyone doesn't know everyone else. I'm actually surprised my family has been able to keep such a big secret for so long. But even though Alice is my best friend in the entire world, there are just some things that I have trouble talking about. Which leads to me throwing up this fake smile and pretending all is right in the world. I never want to see someone give me a look of pity the second they knew what was going on in my life.

"I GOT IN! Oh my God! I got into the Academy of Art University in San Francisco!" Alice exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I got my acceptance letter and all my orientation information yesterday. I tried to call you last night, but your phone went straight to voicemail."

_Great! Now I feel like a shitty friend. _Can't tell her I was at the hospital again last night and that's why my phone was off. So, let's try this... "Sorry, Al. I had a lot of homework and since my dad saw my last progress report, he took my phone until I finished," I said, trying to explain my reasons for being unreachable for what seems like the fourth time this month when something _life changing_ has happened to my best friend. _Looks to be working._ When Alice seemed to be placated by my response, I continued, "But Al, that is so amazing! I am so happy that you got in. You are going to be a wonderful fashion designer."

"So did you get in anywhere yet?" Alice said, hinting at one specific college. She was not happy when I told her that I didn't want to leave the area for college. So when I told her I was just going to Peninsula College, in Port Angeles, so I could still live at home, she was not very happy. She wanted me to go to San Francisco with her. If I got into San Francisco State University, we would be within walking distance of each other. I filled out the application just to humor her, but never actually sent it in. I hated lying to her.

"Nope. Just Peninsula. I must have really let my grades slip last year." I shrugged my shoulders as we started to walk to class. That wasn't a lie. I almost failed a whole semester of my Junior year. I barely passed any of my classes, getting mostly D's and C's. My teacher's knew something was wrong when I all-of-a-sudden stopped doing the homework and slept through most of my classes. I knew the material, just didn't care to do the work. I passed only because I was able to Ace any quiz, test, or exam put in front of me. That was the only time I didn't sleep though class. My dad wasn't having any of that this year, though. I should have been at the top of my class come graduation. Now I'm sitting somewhere in 'Average Zone'. If I didn't get my GPA back above a 3.0, my dad said he would stop paying for my gas, my phone bill, and that I would have to start paying rent once I started college, meaning I would have to get a job. I refuse to be subjected to saying the dreaded phrase 'Do you want fries with that?', so I got my act together, and started to pretend to care about school again.

"There's still time. Maybe you'll get something this week." I really wish Alice would drop the whole college thing. It's not really on the top of my priority list these days.

I told her, "Yeah. Maybe," just to make it sound like I cared. I knew I was lacking a bit in the best friend field these past few months and I really hated doing that to Alice. I had to make it up to her somehow. We continued to walk to English together. Alice said 'hi' to a few people on our way, but stuck by me. I wonder if she knew what was really going on with me; that my facade wasn't as impenetrable as I thought. "So, Aly, maybe we could celebrate on Friday. Grab a few people, head down to First Beach and have a bonfire. I could maybe get Em to buy us a few kegs and what-not. He still owes me. I don't know how many times I covered for him while he was high school."

"AHH! You really think Emmett would do that? Oh, what am I saying? He loves you! Of course he would," Alice was going a mile a minute. She was in full party planning mode now. _See, I can be a good friend._ "Okay...it's a little late notice. 3 days to get invites out...it's doable," she said mostly to herself as we took our seats. We were watching _Beowulf_ today, so I knew I was off the hook for further discussion until lunch.

Maybe a quick text to Em as a heads up. _'Hey bro, what are you doing Friday?'_

Emmett is my big brother. He got out of Forks practically the second he graduated 3 years ago. Left for Seattle; for big city life. He got a scholarship at Seattle U for baseball while working on a BS in Sports and Exercise Sciences. He wants to be a doctor for the pros, if he doesn't make it himself. I missed him so much that first year. He never came to visit, not even during that first summer. I got a call every few days, but I just missed having my big, overprotected brother around. Aside from Alice, Em was my best guy friend. We did everything together. He didn't care about letting his dorky little sister tag along when our parents made him. He'd never tell his friends that, but I knew better.

Last year, when things began to get bad at home, Em had about a month or two left of school/baseball season before summer break. He wanted to be able to come straight home, to be with the family, but couldn't just drop baseball during 'postseason play'. The Redhawks had made it to the Super Regionals. First time in 13 years. They lost to UCLA in Game 3, which was in a 4-4 tie until the 13th inning. I was sad that his team lost, but so happy to have my brother home for that whole summer. Not so happy when Em kicked my ass after he found out I almost failed my second half of Junior year.

I haven't told him about Peninsula, yet. I know I'll hear an earful when he finds out. Em and I are anything, but dumb. We really both could have had our pick at colleges. He always said he wanted out of Forks, but I knew he couldn't stand to be too far away. Seattle was like moving all the way to the east coast for him. And for me, I would love to go to San Francisco with Alice, but I couldn't leave my mom or my dad right now. Maybe in two years, after I get my Associates, and my family's future is more clear.

_**Buzz Buzz** _

'_Notta. Was thinkin bout goin 2 sorority prty. Wat up?' _Wow, my brother sounds dumb in text form. That is a real pet peeve of mine. He really isn't dumb. It's just an... act if you will. His own facade for his friends and teammates. I guess it's not cool to be a brainiac or something like that.

So I responded, '_Did you forget how to spell and form coherent sentences when you went off to college? I was thinking about asking to cash in a favor or two.'_

_**Buzz Buzz**_

'_Oh, Whatever, Bells. __What's the favor...or two?' _

Maybe this will be easier than I thought. '_Bonfire, keg party at First Beach on Friday? You supply the keg and liquor? I can get you money. Please, please! For your favorite little sis?'_

_**Buzz Buzz**_

'_Wait! This is Bella, right? The perfect daughter who has never broken one rule, ever? No way!' _So much for getting this done quickly. I am so glad that I have perfected the blind texting technique. I really don't need to get into trouble for trying to text in class.

'_Oh God! You know better than that. I have partied with you in the past. Come on! Alice got into her first choice college and we want to celebrate.'_

_**Buzz Buzz**_

'_You're going to make me hang out with a bunch of high schoolers instead of a bunch of hot sorority girls?'_

'_Please *puppy eyes* :( You'll never owe me again.'_

_**Buzz Buzz**_

'_UGH!'_

_**Buzz Buzz**__  
_

'_Fine! I want $50 when you get out of school on Friday, I'll pay for the rest. Speaking of school, hope you're paying attention & not ignoring your teachers again.'_

___**Buzz Buzz**_

'_Get back to WORK!' _Have I mentioned how much I love my brother!

'_Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you, Emmy Bear! I'll have the money... And It's just a movie. Not much to miss.'_

_**Buzz Buzz**_

'_Love you, too, Baby B. Tell Al congrats! See you Friday!'_

...And there's the bell. _Oops._ I guess I'm going to have to rent it now.

"Hey Bells, think we need a movie night tomorrow?" _ Oh God, how I love my best friend!_ She must have been busy planning all hour.

I laughed when I told her that that sounds like the perfect plan, as long as we did it at her house. She hasn't been to my house in about a year...

I then told her all is 'Go' with Em, that we just needed to scrounge up $50, and that he said 'Congrats' on her admission.

"I love your brother! You should tell him to bring some friends, since he'll now be missing out on that sorority party. What's his roommates name? Jason or something?" Alice is so obvious sometimes.

"You mean Jasper. The star short-stop. Yeah, I can ask to see if Em wants to invite some of the guys." I just laughed at her attempt at nonchalance. Ever since Emmett invited his roommate over for a last hurrah before heading back to Seattle U this past summer, Alice practically melted at first sight. We all went to Port Angeles to hang out on the pier and at the beach. The second Jasper stripped off his shirt to go swim, I think her panties dropped. It didn't help that Jasper also is from Texas, so his southern accent and the whole country boy appeal totally won her over.

"Yeah, him. It's totally whatever. No big deal if you mention it to Em or not, but since we'll be at First Beach, it's not like there's _not_ any room for more guests."

"I'll see what I can do, Aly." ...There's the warning bell... "I'll talk to you more later. Bye, Al."

* * *

The rest of the day went by quickly. Everyone was buzzing about the party this weekend. Alice works fast, but if anyone had any idea that I had anything to do with it, I would never have guessed. Being best friends with one of the most popular senior girls in Forks always astounded me. I am far from popular and most of the school barely knows I exist, not that I haven't been aspiring for invisibility for the last two years. I'm a pretty girl. Not the most beautiful, but definitely not ugly or ordinary. Brown wavy hair, dark chocolate brown eyes, slim build, average sized breasts...I'm not much for athletics or working out, in general, so I'm not really tone or anything. Just...average. I actually was quite popular Freshman year, but that was mostly Emmett's doing, having to bring me along to all the parties, and what-not, so the parentals would stay off his back. Of course he let me bring Alice along, too, so she was able to start her stardom of high school. Once Em left, though, I tried to slink into the background a bit, but Alice did everything to stay in the spotlight.

When Alice wasn't with me, she was with _Miss_ Rosalie Hale, captain of the cheer squad, head of Homecoming and Prom committee, Student Body President...the list goes on. Rose is drop-dead gorgeous. She's a tall, skinny, busty, blonde hair, blue-eyed beauty queen, literally. I don't even know how many Little Miss Washington's or Miss Teen Queen's she won growing up. But even with being a beauty queen, Rose swears like a sailor, can drink the whole football team under the table, and her favorite class is Autos. Rose and I were closer in elementary school. Her, Alice, and I were almost inseparable, but we grew apart in middle school when she got her first boyfriend. He happened to be someone I had had a crush on since 2nd Grade. She knew that, but went after him anyways. Alice didn't want to have to choose between the two of us during the fight, but she picked my side since we were practically sisters and would have hated for our friendship to suffer most. Freshman year, Alice ended up having most of her classes with Rose, and so their friendship rekindled. Rose and I are pretty civil now, but not quite 'best friends'. I mean it was all pretty immature stuff back then, and neither of us are those people anymore.

On my way back to my truck, I actually ran into Rose, or she ran into me. _Speak of the Devil and the Devil shall appear_. Or I guess just thinking about the Devil works in this instance...

"Hey, Bella. How are you?" This is weird. The only time Rose and I have talked in the last 4 years, we had Alice as a buffer.

"Um, hey, Rose. I'm not bad. What's up?" This whole friendly facade thing keeps getting easier and easier. You'd never know that I was being torn apart on the inside.

"Not much. Hey, Alice told me that the whole party thing was your idea." _Really, Alice? Not cool._ I hope she only told Rose that I was behind the idea. "She also told me your brother was going to be there..." What does my brother have to do with this awkward conversation?

"Yeah. He just turned 21 a couple months ago, so I thought it would be nice to finally cash in some favors. I mean, it's all for Aly. She deserves a huge celebration."

"Oh, so he's just buying the alcohol? Um... Is he sticking around for the party?" And I didn't think this could get any more awkward. This is not the cool, confident Rosalie that everyone knows. This is an insecure, shy side that I never even saw when we used to be best of friends.

"I'm not sure, Rose. I was thinking about asking him to DD for Alice and me. And he may be bringing a few friends. Like I said, I have a lot of favors to cash in."

"Alright. Thanks." _Say it with me: Awkward!_

"No problem. Talk to you later, Rose." I turned to leave, but Rose stopped me again.

"Oh wait! Hey, my parents are going to be gone this weekend. I was planning on asking Alice to stay over before this whole party got planned up. What if after the party you, Al, Emmett and whoever he brings, come back to my place? It's better than getting caught drunk by any of our parents. And it's a good alibi."

Well, that may get Em to actually bring some friends _*cough* Jasper *cough*,_ since he won't have to bring them back to our place. It sounds plausible. "Sure, Rose. I'll think about it. Let me talk to Em and Aly and I'll try to have an answer tomorrow."

"Thanks, Bella. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye, Rose."

Finally, I can leave. I am _so_ done with school. Senioritis is in full swing. As I left the parking lot, I shot off a text to Em telling him to call me when he got a chance. I knew he was in class right now, so I didn't want to disturb him. I also didn't want to call Alice yet about Rose's suggestion until I asked Em about DDing or if Jasper wanted to come along. But I did text her to tell her I would be picking up _Beowulf_ so we can watch it tomorrow.

* * *

When I got home, it was a quarter after five. Mom had started dinner, and it smelled wonderful. Dad should be home from the station soon. We looked like the perfect family. Mom and Dad happily married with two wonderful children, one that is off to school on scholarship and the other about to graduate and start college in the fall. No teenage pregnancies, no arrests...just perfect. _Right!_

My mom, Renee Swan, _was_ the Middle School Art Teacher for Forks, up until last year, when she decided to take a 'leave-of-absence' with just one month left in the school year and has been a 'stay-at-home-mom/house-wife' ever since. The town believes that when my dad, Charlie Swan, got promoted to Chief of Police 2 years ago, that the pay increase was enough that my mom was able to quit her job. _If they only knew._

My mom didn't mind staying home, though. She thought she was going to go crazy at first. She found solace in painting and sculpting during her abundance of down time. When she was teaching, she didn't have much time to work on her own projects, but now she has more than enough time. Well, that's what she says anyways. I don't know how much time she has. It could be weeks, months, years, or a whole life time.

When she fought and survived her Stage 1A breast cancer 4 years ago, we all thought that was it. She was a survivor. We didn't have to worry about the dreaded 'C' word ever again. The whole town knew and we all celebrate my mom's health. Stage 1 was a cake walk.

Last year, as we were approaching the 5 year 'all-clear' mark, she was diagnosed with Stage 3B breast cancer. I don't think any of us left the house for a whole week. How could the doctors have missed the fastly growing tumor in the same breast they had already 'treated'? We never thought we would have had to deal with this again. Mom and Dad decided to keep the news within the family. They didn't want the good people of Forks to pity the poor Swan family. We already had our celebration, now we needed to make sure that it didn't go to waste.

The only people in all of Forks that knew, outside of my family, were a few nurses and the good Doctor, Carlisle Cullen. Because of Doctor/Patient confidentiality, even his wife and son had no idea, which I was thankful for.

Right after my mom put her leave in with the school, the doctors removed her right breast and started her radiation treatment. Five days a week for almost 2 months, mom was subjected to radiotherapy. When it was time for chemo, she was not happy. Her hair had just started to come back in full so she didn't want to have to do chemo again. When the docs offered her to try medical marijuana as an alternative, the hippie in my mother practically jumped for joy. _It can be hard to live with a police officer, sometimes, especially for a hippie._ However, they suggested that she do three months of chemo and cannabis combined in the beginning and then strictly marijuana for the next 3 months, just to be safe. _I hate chemo._ The chemo always made mom sick and she was never hungry, and even if she did eat, she could hardly hold it down. That is also where the weed came in. It made the effects from chemo tolerable.

Mom was strictly on the cannabis these days, though. _My mom was great high._ She has two weeks left until we can find out if she's in remission again, or not. They are going to be the longest 2 weeks ever. _Anything could happen._ Just like last night, when we had to go to the hospital because mom was experiencing shooting pains in her fingers. She felt the same thing while going though chemo, so we all became a little worried. Dr. Cullen told us there was nothing to worry about. She was just having a slight circulation problem, which can be normal.

If in two weeks mom ends up being in remission and the cancer doesn't come back within the next 5 years, then and only then, will I take a real, full-fledged breath, and actually believe my mom will be okay. Until then, I want to spend as much time with her as possible. This is why I can't leave for college, the reason why I don't want Alice over, or anyone for that matter, the reason I let my grades slip because I couldn't concentrate on anything, but my mother's health. We have never been closer as a family, but we have never been as sad or as fearful, either.

I had just walked into the kitchen to see what my mom was cooking when I heard her say, "Miss Isabella, now where have you been?" _Yup! Mom is stoned. _At least the food will be good. She always cooks better high.

"Hey, momma. I got caught up at school. _Rosalie Hale_ seems to be wanting to make amends after all these years. And then I had to go to the movie store to rent a DVD for school. I was planning on going over to Alice's tomorrow to watch it with her, if that's alright?" I hated asking for permission, since I knew she wouldn't mind, but I do try to be the ideal daughter.

"Rosie wants to be friends? Wow, never saw that one comin'. Oh and you know I never mind you spending time with Alice." _Of course not._ "Your father should be home soon and dinner will be done in 20. Why don't you start on your homework so he doesn't throw a fit like last week."

"Yes, mother," I said while discreetly rolling my eyes. "I just have a few problem of Calc, the rest I got done during lunch and study hall."

"Well hop to it young lady."

And with that, I literally hopped to the breakfast bar with my backpack, which made us both bust out with laughter.

I loved the good days with my mom. I never know what I'm going to come home to anymore.

* * *

My homework was done before dinner, so I just excused myself to my room when our meal was over. I was still waiting on Em to call, so in the mean time, I let my facade fall and cried.

I need this to be over. I need my mom to be okay. I can't live without knowing she is going to be okay. I need to know that she will continue to live her own long and healthy life.

And so I cried, like I have every day since we found out the cancer had returned. I cried for my mom, for my dad, for my brother, for anyone who has ever had to deal with this, and I cried for myself. I cried because it kills me so much to have to lie to everyone and to pretend to be happy and pretend that nothing is wrong.

_***I've given up on giving up slowly**_

_**I'm blending in so you won't even know me**_

_**Apart from this whole world that shares my fate**_

_**This one last bullet you mention**_

_**It's my one last shot at redemption**_

_**Cause I know to live you must give your life away***_

There's Emmett. Time to wipe the tears and put on my big girl voice. "Hey Em. What's up?"

"Why don't you tell me? You told me to call."

"Oh, right. Um, so we're all set for Friday, right? You'll be at the school at 3:30?"

"Yeah, B. I'll be there. You're lucky coach is giving us Friday off from practice." _Oops!_ I didn't even think about it being baseball season already. "So, is that all? I still can't believe that I'm aiding-and-abetting in a bunch of under-age drinking, and that you are the one who suggested it. Where is this world coming to?"

"Oh, hardy, har, har. So funny E. It's not like I never went to parties with you back in the day. I'm not that much of a goody-goody," I paused shortly before breaking out that _You__ can't refuse to do anything I ask of you_ voice on my brother. "So I have another favor and a request..."

I heard Em sigh before asking, "What more could you want from me, B? I'm supplying the booze _and_ not telling dad that your the one who is planning a soiree that could end up getting busted up by the cops anyways."

"Oh, you know that no one bothers to break up parties on the beach. Alright, so I'll tell you my request first...well actually it's Alice's request. She wanted to know if you could invite your roommate or maybe some of the other guys, but mostly just Jazz. She's got a huge thing for him."

"HAHAHA! Yeah, Bells. I'll ask some of the guys if they want to help me chaperone a bunch of high schoolers."

"Oh, come on. A party is a party is a party. Just ask Jasper at least, please?"

"Fine! You know I can't say no to you. Now, if that was the request, do I dare ask what the favor is?" Alright, one down, one to go.

"CanyoubeourDD?" I said it as fast as I could. I know he won't like it. If he's coming all the way out here just to play DD for his sister and her friends.

"What was that, B? Something about DD..."

_Alright, just do it. _"Emmett, bestest brother of mine, will you please be our Designated Driver? We don't even have to go back to our house or Alice's. Rosalie Hale said her parents will be out of town and she invited me, you, Alice, and anyone you bring out with you, to stay at her place for an after-party of sorts, so we don't have to deal with parents."

"You talked to Rose? I thought you guys were still on the outs?" Did he just completely forget about me asking about DDing? "Wait!" _There's the light bulb. UGH!_ "Did you just ask me to be your DD? To a party where I will be the only one legal to actually drink? Seriously, B?"

"Please, Em? For me and Alice? Please? The last time I drank was at the last party you brought me to this past summer. Just this once. I'll DD the next_ two_ times you need me to. Please?"

"Stop with the 'Pleases' please! Yeah, yeah. Just tell me who your favorite person in the world is."

"AHHH! Thank you, Em!" I sounded _way_ too much like Aly there. She is totally rubbing off on me. "_You_ are my most favorite person in the whole world. Muah! Muah! I love you big brother!"

"Uh huh. Love ya, too, sis! Is that all you want to wrangle me into this weekend or do you want my left nut too?"

"Eww, Em! That's fucking gross. No. That's all. I'll see you Friday!"

"See ya, Bells."

Well that was easy. _Well, easy as far as dealing with Em goes._ He's such a push over. He knows that this whole thing has taken a hit on me. I know I try not to show my hurt, but it's hard to fool Em since he knows me better than anyone and he's going through it, too. But Em has baseball to channel his anger and hurt. What do I have? I'm not artistic like mom, or athletic like Em and dad. I do love to write and writing has helped me vent in the past... Hmm.

I looked over at the clock to see that it was already 8:30. _I guess I'll talk to Alice tomorrow._ I knew I couldn't sleep just yet, so I grabbed my laptop and signed into my LiveJournal. Nobody used it anymore, so I never felt self-conscious when I decided to post lyrics from songs that speak my emotions of the day. I just look like any normal teenage girl pretending the music was speaking for me. But tonight I wanted to try my hand at just writing for me. Vague enough that no one would understand, but true enough that if anyone actually read it, they would know that my life really wasn't the perfect facade that everyone saw. So I started...

_**An Invisible Prayer**_

_**I am starting to lose all faith in myself. When I look in the mirror, all I see is a ghost...The real me is dead. This life I am living is not a life at all, but a play. I am an actress in a world full of actors. The only way to survive is through manipulation, lies, regret, secrets; everything, but the truth. Some say the truth will set you free... Well, whoever said that, never lived a life like mine. Truth can and will ruin your life...if not now, it will in the future. **_

_**I am a child, running from life...broken; beaten and left for dead. Still dreaming of never growing up and having to enter "the real world" where there is responsibility, love; the things that will not only completely kill my soul, but everything else with it.**_

_**I look down at the cross that is around my neck and just ask, "Why? Why should I wear this when the 'Invisible Person' that I pray to always does the exact opposite of my prayer? Is there a point anymore?" I have lost all faith in myself and all faith in the rest of humanity. My stage is set; I will be the actress I have to be, with all my manipulation, lies, regret, secrets...**_

_**Time will be my escape...but time may take too long.**_

_**Poem by Bella M. Swan  
**_

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading. I would really appreciate reviews of any kind, good or bad. We won't meet Edward for another chapter or two, in-which then we will be bouncing between POVs. The more reviews, the less likely I will be to give up on the story. Again, thanks!


	2. WakeUp Call

**A/N:** Well, I got three reviews and a couple follows, so I hope this chapter will earn me some more followers, and I hope to get some more reviews to tell me how I'm doing. Reviews inspire me to write more, meaning more information, more chapters, more story faster. So if you really want to know what is going to happen to these characters, tell me how you really feel, good or bad. Oh and I plan to put a lot of my own personal writing in here, just like with the poem last chapter. Please do not steal my poetry, especially without my permission.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters, Stephenie Meyer does. Also, the song 'This Is A Call' belongs to Thousand Foot Krutch. The poem at the bottom belongs solely to me, so please do not steal or reproduce it.**

* * *

_**This is A Call**_

_She fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong,_

_but she still sleeps with her light on,_

_and she acts like_

_It's all right on, as she smiles again _

_and her mother lies there sick with cancer,_

_and her friends don't understand her,_

_she's a question without answers,_

_who feels like falling apart._

_She knows, she's so much more than worthless,_

_but she needs to find her purpose,_

_she wonders what she did to deserve this and..._

_She's calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out,_

_'Cause every-time I fall down, I reach out to you,_

_and I'm losing all control now, and my hazard signs are all out,_

_I'm asking you, to show me what this life is all about._

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Wake-Up Call**

**Bella's POV**

"Miss Swan?"

"BELLA?!"

"Huh? What?"

"The principal just called. There's a family emergency. You need to head to the hospital right now."

_No. No. NO! _This is it, isn't it? _Great! _Now I'm crying at school. No more facade. Everyone is going to know we've been lying all along.

I ran out the door as fast as possible, leaving everything behind.

The next thing I know, I'm flying through the hospital doors, searching for my dad. When I find him, he's hunched over, crying. _That's not good._

"D-d-d-ad?" I couldn't get the words out. My dad just grabbed me and we cried together. _NO! Not good at all!_

"Dad? Is mom...?"

"S-s-s-she's gone, sweetie."

"NOOO!"

"SHIT!" I flew up out of my bed, drenched in sweat and tears. _Just a dream. It was just a dream_._ The same dream..._

"Oh, thank God!" I am sick of this dream. I should know it's not real by now, but for some reason it gets more real as time goes on.

I looked over at my alarm clock. _Of course I only have 20 minutes before I have to be up. Fuck!_ Maybe I should just start setting my alarm 30 minutes sooner so I won't have to deal with the dream in the first place. You would think I would learn my lesson after 10 months of this.

_Time to get ready and face the world, Bella. _I jumped into the shower and got ready for the day. The shower always helped me calm down quickly after those dreams. Relaxed my muscles. Helped me put my facade back up.

After I got dressed, I went out to greet my father for breakfast.

"You okay, Bells?" _Great!_ He had to of heard my _wake-up call_.

"Yeah, dad. Just a dream. Sorry."

"Yeah. You know I should probably wash your mouth out with soap, but I don't really feel like it today." He always threatened with the soap. Doesn't really help there is always a sarcastic undertone to the threat.

"Oh no, Dad! Not the soap!" We are a family full of sarcasm. We did anything to earn a laugh around here.

"Don't worry, Bells. You've got nothin' on Em." Emmett probably has a worse mouth than even Rose, so being around it so much, there are times that words just slip out without my knowledge. Dad hated how much Emmett swore. Em always blamed it on his teammates being a bad influence in the locker room, but I knew better. If anyone was a bad influence in the locker room, it was him. Always trying to show off. "So, what are your plans for today?"

"Oh, um, I told mom I'm hanging out with Alice after school. Just working on homework and what-not. We haven't had a lot of time to hangout outside of school lately." More like I haven't really made time. _God, I'm a horrible friend._

"Sounds good. So you won't be home for dinner?"

"Probably not. I think Alice and I will just order a pizza or something. Is that okay?" I really feel silly asking for permission. They never used to mind me going out with Alice and staying with her for dinner and sometimes even sleepovers during the week. But now I feel like I should always be home, always be close to mom in case something were to happen.

"That's fine. I think I might take your mom out, if she's feeling up to it. Yesterday was a good day, so I hope today will be, too." Mom's mood swings have been pretty hard on my dad. Dr. Cullen says that the treatments might be causing my mother to become pre-menopausal. When mom goes off on dad for no reason, he feels so lost. He usually tries to encourage her to work in her studio when she gets like that, to do her own type of venting, throw some clay around, but sometimes she just wants to yell. I hope he can take her out today. They haven't been able to go on a date for a long time.

"That sounds like a perfect idea, dad. She needs to get out of the house, sometimes."

"Alright, Bells. I'm off to work now, so I can get off earlier. You be good, and tell Alice I said 'hi'." He grabbed his jacket and gun belt.

Before he walked out, I replied, "Will do, dad. Aly misses you, by the way. She always asks how her favorite second dad is." This made me a little sad. I hated not being able to tell Alice what was going on and why my family didn't want her over here anymore. I know it hurts her since my family practically adopted her as their own when we were kids, just like her's did for me. Our parents never really became more than acquaintances, but Aly and I felt like we were a part of each others families.

"Tell Aly I miss her, too. Oh and I heard a 'congratulations' is in order for getting into her first choice college?" _This is too small of a town!_

"Oh, yeah. I'll tell her. Bye, daddy. Love you!"

"Love you, too. Bye, baby girl."

At that, my dad left for work, and now I have about 30 more minutes to kill before leaving for school. _What to do? What to do?_

I decided to go check on mom. I did this most mornings. I snuck into her room and went to lay down on my dad's side of the bed. I knew the movement would wake her up, and she didn't usually mind. She would roll over to face me and we would grab onto each other and just hug for a few minutes. No words needed.

When we let go, I would always tell her, "I love you, mom," and just hold onto her hands.

She would then say, "I love you, too, Peanut." Peanut has been my mom's nickname for me since I was in her womb.

Next, she would kiss me on the forehead, and tell me, "Have a good day."

"I will, mom. I'll see you later." Then, I kiss her on the cheek and we would both roll out of bed, so she could see me out to the door.

This was our usual morning routine. It was my way of knowing that while I was at school, I would have a good last memory of my mom if something were to happen. Our last words would be filled with love.

* * *

When I got to school, I told Alice that my father said 'hi' and 'congratulations'. Then I proceeded to tell her all about how Emmett agreed to be Designated Driver and he was going to try to invite some of his teammates, but no promises. I also told her how Rose and I talked and she invited all of us to head back over to Rose's after the party. She almost blew my eardrums out with her squeal. Alice wants Rose and I to be friends again so bad, so she thinks this is going to do it. I don't think she even remembers why we stopped being friends in the first place. Alice knew I liked Edward, but I don't think she knew how much.

Edward is Rosalie's next-door neighbor, so of course they always saw each other and it made sense that him and Rose would date. That didn't mean I had to like it. Edward is gorgeous. Always has been. He was always nice to me in Elementary school, too. One of the only guys that didn't think I had cooties. Once we got to Middle school, though, he was rarely in any of my classes, so we didn't talk as much anymore, except when I went over to Rose's to hang out. She had this huge tree house out back, with a swing set and slides. Edward would come over when he saw us hanging out. That's when Rose started to like him and eventually asked him out, which he agreed to. I stopped talking to both of them after that.

The last time I even said more than two words to Edward was a few months ago. He was visiting his dad at work, at the hospital... He wondered why I was there. Asked me if I was alright. I had to make up some ridiculous lie about spraining my wrist rollerblading. I wore a wrist brace for two weeks after that, just to make the whole thing look real.

Another lie to cover up our secret.

But, back to today, I decided that if it makes Alice happy, I would really try with Rose. The whole thing was so long ago, and we've all matured. So when I found Rose later, I told her that we all agreed to go back to her place after the party. Her squeal could have almost beat Alice's. _God, what is it with these girls?_ She gave me a big hug, which I returned, uncomfortably, but I tried to not let that show.

* * *

After school, I followed Alice in my truck over to her place. We ordered the pizza right away, popped some popcorn, and got the basement set up for our movie night. Although this was for school, the movie wasn't that bad, so we were able to really enjoy it.

Once the pizza arrived, we sat down and pressed play.

"So do really think Em will be able to get any of his friends to come?" Alice was not going to give this up.

"I don't know, Al. He said he'd try, but are these guys really going to want to come to a high school party when they could go to a college party?"

"You're right." Now she sounded sad. _Shit!_

Alright, what can I say to fix this? "Hey, but it's Emmett. He'll find a way to persuade a couple of them at least." I hope that works.

We just sat and watched the movie for awhile without talking. The CG in this is actually pretty cool. I'm glad we weren't watching the 1999 version. Compared to this, those special effects sucked!

_**Buzz Buzz**_

I looked at my phone to see who it was. A text from Emmett. I am really hoping for good news.

"_Jazz is in. So are Paul and Jared. They're suckers for the youngin's. You sure Rose can handle us all?"_

Oh, Thank you, Lord! _"Emmett, I love you! You have no idea how happy Aly will be. And maybe it won't be so bad for you with a couple friends."_

I had a goofy smile now. Alice is going to love this.

"Hey, who are you talking to? We already missed this movie once. Pay attention!"

"Yes, ma'am!" I did a little salute and continued with, "Sorry, Al. It was just Em."

"Oh, well, then that's okay, as long as you are still paying attention."

_**Buzz Buzz**_

"_Still can't drink because of you, but yeah, it won't be so bad."_

"_Hey. That's what the after-party is for. Thanks again, bro!"_

_**Buzz Buzz**_

"_Yeah, yeah. Love ya, sis."_

Should I tell Alice now, or later? I decided to wait till the end of the movie, at least. I've already seen it back when it first came out and I've read the story, so it's not like I would miss much. It has just been awhile, so I needed a refresher. Alice, on the other hand, hates to read anything but fashion magazines and those dumb Twilight books. Oh and the smut people write using the characters in Twilight. I also know she never saw this movie because Emmett was the one who dragged me along. Alice passed on this wonderful opportunity to hang with Rose instead. Em and his buddies were hell bent on seeing a half-naked Angelina Jolie, even if it was CG. Too bad it wasn't even her body they used. I laughed when I found that out on IMDb. When I told Em, he was so pissed.

The credits started to roll, so I went to gather my things. I wanted to get back home before it got too late, so I could say goodnight to my mom.

"Hey, what's the rush? It's only 7:30." She started to give me the puppy eyes.

_Ugh!_ "Sorry, Al. I told my parents I would be home right after the movie. It's still a school night." Worse excuse ever. I used to spend the night all the time, even on school nights. _Um...what could I say? Another lie to placate my friend._ "My mom's heading to an Art Workshop tomorrow and... I want to be able to say goodbye before she was gone for the weekend." It could be believable. My mom was a teacher. She used to take long weekend trips all the time for her job. She could still be doing professional development workshops, couldn't she? _Oh well._

"Oh, okay. See you tomorrow, Bells."

Well, what better time to break the news... "Oh, hey. I almost forgot. Em just told me that he got a couple of the guys to agree to come down with him." _Just let it stew for a minute._

"Which one's?" She looked at me funny. I think she's remembering my goofy smile during the movie.

"Um...I forgot their names. Hold on. Let me check." I pulled out my phone to just mess with her. "He said that Paul and Jared didn't mind hanging out with us youngin's." I'm starting to feel bad now.

"Is that it? Just the two?" _Oh._ Alice lost her sparkle at that.

_Okay. Okay. Stop being mean._ "Oh, and Jasper said he'd co-"

"AHHHHHHH! REALLY!?" And I thought my eardrums were blown earlier... _Fuck, that was loud!_

"Shit, Aly! Could you _be_ any louder? I don't think they heard you in China." I just had to roll my eyes at her excitement. I'm glad that I can still make my friend happy. "Yeah, that's why Em text me earlier. Just making sure that Rose won't mind us all over."

"Oh, she won't mind, as long as your brother is there." Alice froze. "Oops. I shouldn't have said that."

"Rose is after my brother? Really? Fuck! No wonder she's trying to be buddy-buddy." That pissed me off. I thought Rose and I were trying to really make amends for the past. She was just using me all along.

"No, Bells. Don't look at it that way. She really does want to be your friend again. She's been saying it for years. But yeah, she's had a thing for Em since Freshman year. She was always jealous that I got to hang out with you guys all the time."

"Well, boo fucking hoo. I'm glad she got a taste of the jealousy bug. Serves the bitch right." Shit. This isn't me. I'm not this bitchy person. _Well, I am in private...not ever in front of anyone else, and especially not in front of Alice._ I decided to pretend to blow it off. It really isn't that big of a deal. I took a deep breath, rolled my eyes, and said, "Whatever. It'll be fine. I'll still try at this friendship thing if she really wants it. Just let Rose know that Emmett's kind of seeing someone right now. Him and Heidi have been casually dating for months." Of course it wasn't serious. Em didn't want to get attached to anyone right now, not with Mom the way she is.

"She's not planning on throwing herself at him, B. Just wants to hang out. Show him she's not a little girl anymore. Shit like that. But she's more concerned on being your friend again, I promise. She hates that we aren't the Three Musketeers anymore."

"Like I said, I don't really care. If Rose really isn't just trying to be my friend because she wants my brother, she can try proving it. How about you tell her you and I will be over right after school on Friday to get ready for the party before Em comes to pick us up?"

"That sounds perfect!"

"Alright, Al. I really have to go. I'll see you tomorrow."

We walked upstairs, and Alice walked me out. "See ya, B!"

* * *

"Mom. Dad. I'm home." I yelled out as I walked through the door.

"In here, Bells," I heard my mom's voice say, coming from the living room. I rounded the corner and saw my mom sitting on the couch by herself. "Dad's in the shower. I was about to head to bed. Just waiting on you."

"You didn't have to do that, Mom. If you're tired, you should have just went to bed."

"It's fine, Peanut. I wanted to talk to you before bed. How was the movie, how's Alice?"

"It was good. She's good. Aly and I were thinking about staying the night at Rose's Friday night." I specifically didn't full out ask this time to see what she would say.

"So Rose really is trying to be friends again, isn't she? I don't know what happened to you two back in middle school, but you really shouldn't hold a grudge for so long. You should have some fun with the girls. It'll be good for you to get out of this house for a little while."

"Oh, Mom. You know I love spending time with you. It's my favorite thing in the world." I gave her a big hug to reiterate my statement. I want to spend as much time with her. Not missing one second I can with her.

"Baby, I know you can't _love_ hanging around me and your dad all the time. You're just a kid. Be a kid. Hang out with you're friends. Have a life." _How can I have a life if I don't know if you will, too?_

"So you don't mind me staying over Rose's Friday?" _I thought I wasn't asking._ God, I'm pathetic. Maybe I was always looking for a way out. A way to stay with mom.

"Yes. You can stay at Rose's Friday night. Why don't you see if you can stay all weekend?"

"Are you and Dad trying to get rid of me?" I tried to joke...I thought it would be a joke. Only I was the only one laughing.

Mom, on the other hand, looked very serious just now. "Well, yes, actually." _What?_ "Bella, this is what I need to talk to you about. In two weeks, we find out if I'm in remission or not. The doctor said I was looking pretty good last time I went in, but I have been feeling a little funny lately." _Wait! What? Please nothing be wrong!_ I think my mom saw something in my face during that last little bit because she quickly said, "OH no! Baby. That's not what I meant. I'm fine. I just need to tell you something. I know this whole situation hasn't been easy. And I love that you've been around so much. I love my baby girl more than anything. You know that right?"

All I could do was nod. I had no idea where this was going.

My mom continued, "Bella, what I'm trying to say is that I need you to stop putting your life on hold for me. We don't know what is going to happen to me. But you have so much to live for right now. You're 18 years old! You're about to graduate high school. I know I have been selfish wanting to keep you to myself and I know you are too afraid to be apart from me for too long, but this needs to stop." Tears were starting to fall from her face, which brought on my own water works.

"Mom, what's going on? Why are you crying?" This is scaring me.

"Baby, your dad found your admissions application to San Francisco State University a couple weeks ago." _Oh no! _She thinks I want to leave her.

"Mom, I never sent it in. I don't want to leave home. I'm going to Peninsula. I told you that! I can't leave you yet. You guys need me here."

"No, Peanut. Here's the thing, we don't need you here. I survived once and _I will_ survive again. And I know you didn't send in the application, but... you're dad did. He got it in right before the deadline. He wanted to make sure you had the option. Baby, y-you... you got in."

_What? I got in?!_ No. I can't leave my mom right now. Not until I know the cancer is gone forever. "I got in?" I said in almost a whisper.

"Bella, listen to me. _You are _going to San Francisco with Alice in the fall. No if's, and's, or but's. I love you, baby, but staying around here, suffering, I can't let you live like this anymore. I will be fine. I promise you. When your acceptance letter came yesterday, it was like a slap in the face; a call out. It woke me up and reminded me that I really need to be a mom right now, and not hold my daughter back from living the life she should have. Well, it wasn't just the letter. Your father also had a pretty big talk with me at dinner tonight. He wanted me to explain to you that whether I'm here or not, it doesn't matter. You need to start living for yourself, not me."

"M-m-om. I can't leave you. Not yet. Maybe in two years, after I get my Associates. Then maybe I'll go to San Francisco to finish up. But I can't leave in the fall. I need to know you'll be okay." I threw my head down into my hands and started pulling on my hair. I could feel my chest closing up. I've only ever felt like this once before. Almost a year ago...when we found out the cancer came back. I think they said it was a panic attack.

"Bella, breathe. Deep breaths. In. Out. Calm down, sweetie. Look at me." I slowly brought my eyes back up to look at my mother. Her eyes were still full of tears. _I can't leave her. I can't hurt her. Not now._ "Baby. I love you. _You. Are. Not. _putting your life on hold for me. No more. You are going to start with going out with your friends this weekend. Then, you are going to start registration with SFSU. You won't be alone out there. You will have Alice. We will video chat every night, if it makes you feel better, but _You. Are. Going_. I am done being selfish. You are going to go to a good college. You are going to major in something you love. You are going to live your life, now, not mine."

I can't believe that they are telling me to go. I don't know what to do... "Mom, can I just sleep on it, please? I really don't want to leave you, but please don't force me out if I don't want to go."

"I'd never force you to do anything, sweetheart. But this is what is best for you. I really want you to think this through. But this weekend is not up for discussion. I want you to leave for school Friday morning and I do not want to see your face until Sunday afternoon at the earliest." This made us both laugh a little. I know she's just being a mom and trying to do what's best for me.

"Alright, mom. I love you. I'm going to head to bed. I'll... see you in the morning?" I wasn't sure if she wanted me to continue with our morning routine anymore.

"Of course. I'm looking forward to my morning snuggle with my baby girl. Just because your father and I think you should go to San Francisco does not mean that we love you any less. You just need to stop hiding at home so much."

"I understand. Goodnight, momma."

"Goodnight, baby girl. I love you."

"Love you, too"

I walked away to my bedroom. After writing last night, I really had the urge to do it again. I grabbed my laptop and signed into my LiveJournal. I was about to open a new entry when I noticed I had a comment on my post from last night. That's odd. None of my friends use their LJ anymore. They only use their Facebook and Twitters. I opened up my entry and saw that the commenter was Anonymous. _Of course._

It said:

_**Anonymous**_

_**Most people lie. You're not the first.**_

_The "invisible man" you speak of doesn't manipulate people into doing things. They just do them. Not everyone you meet is deceitful. Some are loving, caring, honest people. I can't say that I am one, but they are out there. Closer than you think._

_You are surrounded by people who love you, though. People who know that you lie to them and hide things from them, but love you the same. I know you are hiding and you're not alone. I know when I see a fellow "actor", as you put it._

_But you are not lost to the world. You just lost the trust of it. Eventually, though... I hope that you learn to trust the world once again. I hope we all can._

_You just need to know that you are loved. If you remember anything, remember that._

Who the hell does this person think they are? They don't know me or my situation. How do they know I am hiding? _A fellow 'actor'?_ What is that suppose to mean? Of course they're Anonymous, just to show how much they are hiding, too. _UGH!_ Should I respond?

Here. Let's try this:

_**SilencedThought  
**_

_**Dear Anonymous**_

_You obviously love to hide, or you wouldn't have signed this Anonymous. I don't know why you think you know my life's story, but you don't. _

_And this post was just a poem. A story. Fiction. Creative writing. Whatever you want to call it._

_So thanks for you're input, but it was not needed._

That should work. _Keep the walls up, Bella._

Alright, now I can work on something new. This Anonymous person knows I'm hiding something, but they don't know what and I won't give them the satisfaction of knowing the pain of my life. Maybe mom was right. I need a life outside of this house. The only people I really talk to anymore are Emmett and Alice. I've never even dated anyone. _Yup! _17 year old virgin, right here. _Wow! I really don't have a life._ Well, the only person I've ever even wanted to date was Edward. Other than Em, he was the only guy I had any connection with. But that's over. He doesn't even look at me anymore. Why would he? He's 'Mr. Perfect', top jock, Captain and star pitcher on the baseball team, Homecoming King, and extremely smart, too. He's in the top 5 of our class. Maybe I should write about my lack-there-of romantic life. That will definitely throw this person off.

Here we go:

_**A Child's Crush**_

_**Former love still on your mind. Remembering all the good times you had. You find yourself crying all the time. Moving on never helps. Everywhere you go, everything you do, reminds you of your love for them. Reminds you how happy you were in their arms. **_

_**Hold on to the one you are with and kiss them before you lose them forever. This was just a child's crush. Have fun, but do not fall in love. A broken heart now will kill you.**_

_**Poem by Bella Swan**_

_I wonder what Anonymous will think of this. _I read and reread my last two posts. _Damn! When did I become so Emo?_ Oh, right... I really didn't think I was that bad, but even looking back at some of the lyrics I've posted in the past month or so. Just, Wow! Mom was right. Maybe this was my wake-up call, too. Maybe my facade wasn't as impenetrable as I thought. If anyone read anything that I have up here, they definitely would know that my smile I put on everyday was fake. _Obviously someone __**is**__ reading my stuff. _They probably know more about what I'm feeling than my best friend.

_Ugh! _Holding in all this anger and sadness has really taken a toll on me. Maybe I should stop pretending. I don't have to tell anyone what's going on with my mom, but I don't have to pretend I'm happy all the time. Maybe I should really work on getting a life in the next 4 months, before my high school experience is completely over. Well, the party on Friday is a great way to start. And now I have something to celebrate, too... Going to San Francisco with my best friend in the fall.

* * *

**A/N:** So maybe we'll start the next Chapter with Edward and hear his story. I'm not much for outlining, so this story is just being made up as I go. Just trying to follow the song for the most part. Like a broken record, Please Please Please review. Good, bad, ugly. Give me something. Thanks!


	3. Defending Champ

**A/N:** I rewrote a couple points in the first chapter (My time-lines were bugging me, so I fixed them and hope they all match up now) and I edited both chapters as thoroughly as possible.

I am sorry for the couple week delay. I was trying to get a chapter out every week, but I was kind of on vacation, then my 5 year old niece came to visit and I couldn't really get in the mindset to write with her around.

But with that said, Oh my goodness! Thank you everyone! I have gotten such a big response on this story (compared to my first story at least), even with it only being 2 Chapters in. My last story wasn't even close to where this one is when it was at Chapter 4. (It has been dwindling a little since I haven't been able to get a chapter out till now, but I hope everyone is still with me)

So, I have no idea what to do with Edward in this story. My last story, he started, and spoke to me more than Bella. But this story, he's not really cooperating... If this Chapter ends up being shit, please do not spare my feelings. Let me know, and I'll scrap it and figure out something better.

Again, I am going to continue to use my own personal writing, so please do not steal my poetry, especially without my permission.  
I'm going to shut up now and start the actual story.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters, Stephenie Meyer does. Also, the song 'This Is A Call' belongs to Thousand Foot Krutch, the song 'A Perfect Sonnet' belongs to Bright Eyes, and the song 'Crash and Burn' belongs to Savage Garden. The poem belongs solely to me, so please do not steal or reproduce it.**

* * *

**This is A Call**

_...He tells everyone a story,_  
_because he thinks his life is boring,_  
_and he fights_  
_so you won't ignore him,_  
_because that's his biggest fear_  
_and he cries,_  
_but you'll rarely see him do it._  
_He loves, but he's scared to use it._  
_So he hides behind the music, 'cause he likes it that way._  
_He knows,_  
_He's so much more than worthless,_  
_he needs to find the surface,_  
_because he's starting to get nervous..._

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Defending Champ**

**Edward's POV**

"Hey, E, did you really hook-up with Jessica?"

I stood up fast and smacked my head hard on the top of my locker. _"Shit! Fuck! Motherfucker!"_ I yelled. _Fuck, that hurt!_

After I calmed down and my head stopped hurting from the initial pain, I turned and asked, "What did you say?" I looked around to see who was asking. _Newton, of course. _He's had a thing for Jess since... well ever since I can remember.

"There's a rumor going around that y'all went out last weekend." _Wow_, do people really twist the truth? It is true that I saw Jess last weekend, but we only said a few words in passing. _Ugh! Rumors!_

Looks like Newton's comment gave us an audience. The whole team was waiting for an answer. Here come the omissions. "You guys know I don't hook-up with any of the girls at this school." _I don't hook-up with any girls, period._ "Jess and I happened to both be in Port Angeles last weekend. She said 'hi' and we talked for a minute. I was actually on my way to meet up with a girl when she stopped me." _No need for them to know that my mom was the girl. _Hey, I have a reputation to uphold.

"Put another notch up for Cullen!" someone yelled. There came a roar of laughter. I know I should dispute their claims, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.

"Jessica probably started the rumor herself. I know she wants me," I said to the group. She may want me, but I'm just not that kind of guy. Sure, I've made out and rounded third with my fair share of girls, but I haven't gone home, yet. I know, 17 and still a virgin. It's almost unheard of these days. I just don't want my first time being with a random hook-up. _Damn, I sound like a girl!_

"Alright Ladies! Get out on the field and start practice." _Saved by the Coach._

I made my way out of the locker room when Newton caught up and said, "Hey, sorry, E. I didn't mean anything by it. Just curious, you know?"

"Yeah, whatever, Mike. No hard feelings," I replied with as little venom as possible. I mean sure it pissed me off that people believed the worst of me, but really, I just didn't care anymore. If it hides the fact that I'm not this sex God that all the girls think I am, that's fine with me. I'll get over it. I still don't understand why everyone assumed the popular jock guy and the biggest player in the school always seemed to go hand-in-hand. I never meant to be perceived as a 'player', but I never corrected the rumors that spread which started it all, either. I guess I just liked the attention of being popular for it. What can I say? I was a dumb kid.

I finally made it out to the field and waited for Tyler to finish putting on his catching gear.

"Work on your curve-ball, Cullen!" Coach Clapp yelled to me from the outfield.

"Sure thing, Coach!" I yelled back. "You ready, Ty?"

"Whenever you are." Tyler squat down behind the plate and got his glove up.

The song I played on repeat last night, to put me to sleep, ran threw my head as I threw the first pitch.

_Lately I've been wishing I had one desire_  
_Something that would make me never want another_  
_Something that would make it so that nothing mattered_  
_All would be clear then..._

A little high and outside.

_But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments_  
_And watch it all dissolve into a single second_  
_And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet_  
_Or one foolish line..._

Tyler throws the ball back.

_'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept_  
_You are here then you're gone_  
_But I believe that lovers should be tied together and_  
_Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather_  
_And left there to drown_  
_Left there to drown in their innocence..._

I try again.

_But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter_  
_I read all of the pages and there is still no answer_  
_Only all that was before I know must soon come after_  
_That is the only way it can be..._

I got the height down, but it's still outside quite a bit.

_So I stand in the sun_  
_And I breathe with my lungs_  
_Trying to spare me the weight of the truth_  
_Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror_  
_And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever..._

I line up the seams and make sure my grip is just right and tried again.

_And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water_  
_Wishing you were a ghost_  
_But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover_  
_And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer_  
_But autumn came, She disappeared_  
_You can't remember where she said she was going to..._

_There we go._ Perfect curve ball.

_But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song_  
_That you don't want to sing_  
_We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together_  
_And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters_  
_And left there to burn_  
_Left there to burn in their arrogance..._

"Alright, Cullen. Keep 'em just like that," Tyler told me from behind the plate.

_But as for me I'm coming to my final failure_  
_I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better_  
_But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be_  
_Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers_  
_And laid entwined together on a bed of clover_  
_And left there to sleep_  
_Left there to dream of their happiness_

As I repeated the song in my head, just like it had last night, I got into a nice little groove in the next couple of pitches. Most of them hit the perfect corner of the plate. I kept them coming, throwing them faster as practice grew on.

I was completely in my element that I almost didn't hear coach yell, "Cullen! Take a breather, kid. Don't throw your arm before the big game."

_Right, the big game tomorrow. _The first game of the season was, of course, against our biggest rivals, the Sequim Wolves.

Tyler and I headed to the dugout for our breather and some Gatorade. I had probably one more go at practicing my fastball before practice would be over. I just wanted to get home, crank up my stereo, and go to work on my heavy bag. I have a lot of pent up energy today. I'm not sure if it's the game tomorrow or my dad pushing different colleges on me. Ever since the acceptance letters started rolling in, it has been the only topic for discussion at my household.

I would have thought that the prospect of going away to college in a couple of months and getting out of the house would have made me happy. I didn't know that I would feel so overwhelmed with wanting to choose the right college for Daddy Dearest. I know the good Doctor wants me to go to the Ivy League, like he did, but I'm hoping to go somewhere for baseball. I love being on the mound in front of a crowd cheering my name. It's the only time I truly feel happy. Well, then, and when I'm throwing punches and kicks, whether it be at my newly acquired heavy bag or a 'willing' participant.

"So, are you going to the party at the beach after the game?" Tyler pulled me out of my inner rambling.

"Uh, I'm not sure. Probably. You going?" Beach parties were the best. Although the weather rarely holds up, it's definitely better than being holed up in a claustrophobic house with most of the Junior and Senior class in attendance. The beach is open and the cops turn a blind eye, for the most part. They only get calls when fights break out...

"Yeah. Should be a blast. Lauren told me Alice Brandon and her friend are throwing it. I guess Alice got into the college she wanted and her friend decided it was a good enough reason to celebrate or some shit." _Great! _Can't I ever get away from the college subject?

"What friend? Rose?" That would make the most sense. Those two are probably the most popular girls in the school. I'm just curious as to why it's out on the beach. I know for a fact Rose's parents are going out of town. They always make sure my mom knows when they go on a trip so she can keep an eye on the house. My mom doesn't mind the parties, as long as no one drives drunk and it doesn't get out of control. She's been kind of a silent chaperone for the past 2 years. She'll run out of the house in a split second when she notices a kid trying to stumble their way to their car, keys in hand. _My mom, the hero._

"No. Not Rose. That other girl Alice always hangs out with. Emmett Swan's little sister." How Tyler doesn't know Bella's name after all these years astounds me. Of course everyone on the team knew Emmett. He was the best third baseman Forks has seen in years. He has a heck of an arm and a massive swing. Broke his own dad's home-run record for the school. Like father, like son. Too bad Chief Swan blew his knee his Senior year and lost out on all of his potential scholarships. At least Em has been able to take on his legacy. "Well, anyways," Tyler continued when I never gave up a name to go with 'Emmett's little sister', "a couple of guys were thinking about getting a match going, but only if you're interested. You _are _the defending champ and all."

And this is why my dad got me the heavy bag for Christmas. At the last beach party, I made it to the final round, practically unscathed. I had a minor miscue with the last guy I fought, and he ended up getting a few real good hits in.

The cops were called sometime during the final fight. A passerby saw fighting and had no idea it was 'recreational'. I had won the match only minutes before seeing the blue and red lights and the crowd starting to scatter. It didn't feel like a victory when I was eventually brought home in the back seat of Chief Swan's cruiser. I was so bruised and bloodied, Daddy Dearest took me out of school for over a week to heal. _I told you he got a few good hits in._ I may have come home the champ, but the way my parents saw it, it looked like I fell out of a moving vehicle. _If they only saw the other guys._

The Chief is good friends with my dad, so he let me off with a warning. My dad wasn't so nice, though. I was grounded for two months and he is making me volunteer at the hospital after school, 3 days a week, until graduation. I also received plenty _"I'm very disappointed in you, son"_'s to last me a lifetime.

He got me the heavy bag in hopes to deter me from ever fighting for real again. I know he just worries about me, and he actually does care about me doing well in baseball, so he doesn't want me to do anything to ruin my future.

I don't know why I _have_ to fight. It just feels second nature. I really have been trying to be good since baseball started back up. I don't want to do anything to mess up my arm, but hitting a bag that doesn't hit back hasn't quite quenched my thirst for fighting. I have been itching to get back out there... "Fine. One fight. That's it. My dad will kill me if he knows I'm fighting again." _Shit! What the hell am I doing?_

"Great! I'll tell the guys later. Alright, you ready to get back out there?" Tyler was now referring to pitching. Practice was dwindling to a close and I knew I just needed to throw a couple more fastballs before Coach called it quits.

"Yeah. Let's do ten quick ones before we get out of here." I ran back to the mound and waited for Tyler to get into position. I had _A Perfect Sonnet _playing in my head again. By the fourth pitch I felt ready to start throwing the real heat. When I got to my final pitch, I tightened my grip, made sure the seams were where they were supposed to be, and threw all that I could.

Right down the middle.

Tyler dropped the ball and his glove almost milliseconds after it reached it's mark. "Damn dude. That's gonna bruise. That had to have been in the 90's. Save it for the game next time, alright?" And with that, practice was over and the team hit the showers and went their separate ways for the night.

* * *

When I got home, I thanked my lucky stars that dad had the late shift tonight. _No talking about colleges tonight._ Mom made spaghetti, so I scarfed that down while making small talk about our days. When I finished dinner, I thanked her with a kiss on the cheek and head to my room. I was too exhausted to even think about going to the basement to work on the bag. And now that I know I'll have a real fight tomorrow, I didn't have as much of an urge as I did earlier.

I stripped myself of everything, but my boxers and got into my bed with my cell. I set my playlist to repeat _A Perfect Sonnet _for second night in a row, put my phone on it's charging dock, turned on the sleep timer for 2 hours, and let the song consume my bedroom. I was exhausted, so I laid back on my pillows, but I just couldn't turn my brain off yet.

My laptop was still on my nightstand from the previous night. Opening it, I checked my e-mail, Twitter, and Facebook. I changed my status to _**'Can't wait to kick some Sequim ass tomorrow!'**_

Then I decided to check one more site...

**_SilencedThought  
_**

**_Dear Anonymous_**  
_You obviously love to hide, or you wouldn't have signed this Anonymous. I don't know why you think you know my life's story, but you don't._  
_And this post was just a poem. A story. Fiction. Creative writing. Whatever you want to call it._  
_So thanks for you're input, but it was not needed._

_Damn! _I knew she was still a firecracker. She hardly shows it these days, but I remember some pretty heated debates back in the day. I don't know why she's hiding. The person I see everyday at school is not the person I used to know. She was one of my best friends. I still don't know why we stopped talking.

But she was wrong. I probably know more about her and her situation than most...

She used to just post song lyrics, which I would in-turn download and add to my playlist. It's how I found Bright Eyes in the first place. She posted:

_But __**once you knew a girl**__ and you named her Lover_  
_And danced with her in kitchens through the __**greenest summer**_  
_But autumn came, __**She disappeared**_  
_You __**can't remember where**__ she said she was going to_  
_But you know that she's gone 'cause __**she left you a song**_  
_That you __**don't want to**__ sing_  
_We're singing I believe that lovers should be __**chained together**_  
_And __**thrown into a fire with their songs and letters**_  
_And __**left there to burn**_  
_Left there to burn __**in their arrogance...**_

I fell in love with the words. They actually hit a soft spot. Whatever she is dealing with that is making her so... broken... makes me feel broken, too. I cried the first time I read these words. _I know_. Yes, I admit to crying. Well, I admit it in the privacy of my bedroom. Like I told her in my comment, _I am a fellow actor_. I don't _want _to pretend about who I am, but it has kind of spiraled out of control at this point. So I put up my front and let everyone make up their own mind about me.

It all started back in Middle School. All the kids in our grade were starting to 'date', which really meant they were trying to be monogamous about their make-out partners of the week. Hormones were in full swing.

I had been hanging out next door with Rose a lot. She would have Bella and Alice over all the time. We would hang out in Rose's tree house in her back yard. It never felt like I was hanging out with a bunch of girls, though. We would talk about everything from movies and music to politics and religion. One time I snuck a bottle of my dad's vodka out and we all took a shot just to see what all the hype over drinking was. Rose did the same thing with a couple of her dad's cigarettes. The four of us had a lot of 'firsts' together.

When the hormones kicked-in within our little group, that's when being the only guy kind of sucked. Rosalie was the first to ask me out. She was hot and I was young and hormonal. Of course I said 'yes.' When some of the guys at school caught wind that we were 'dating', just because she was my neighbor, because of the convenience of proximity, they believed that we were going to be doing much more than kissing.

That's when my sex God status started, the very first accusation that I should have disputed. When Rose found out what people were saying, she kicked me in the junk, called me 'a fucking douche bag,' refused to speak to me the rest of the school year. _Bella stopped speaking to me right around this time, too..._

I decide now is the perfect time to read her next post.

**_A Child's Crush_**

_Former love still on your mind. Remembering all the good times you had. You find yourself crying all the time. Moving on never helps. Everywhere you go, everything you do, reminds you of your love for them. Reminds you how happy you were in their arms._

_Hold on to the one you are with and kiss them before you lose them forever. This was just a child's crush. Have fun, but do not fall in love. A broken heart now will kill you._

**_Poem by Bella Swan_**

_Huh_... Well this is..._different_. She never talks about love like this. _What's wrong with falling in love?_

I hit the comment button and asked her just that.

**_Anonymous  
_**

**_What's wrong with falling in love?_**

_There is no reason to give up on love. Love is too beautiful to never be given a chance._  
_If you need to fall apart _  
_I can mend a broken heart _  
_If you need to crash then crash and burn _  
_You're not alone _  
_Also, you have never been a child, so I doubt it was a 'child's crush'. Always an old soul. Too mature for your age. A look of love would suit you well._

I feel like a coward not letting her know who I am, but I'm afraid she'll give up writing/posting completely if she knew. I don't know why I can't leave her alone, though. I have a feeling she never expected me, or anyone else, for that matter, to comment on her writing, let alone read it. No one uses LiveJournal anymore.

The only reason I am even on here is because a couple months ago, I was feeling nostalgic, so I went through some of my old posts. Then, out of habit, I checked my friends page to see if anyone had actually posted anything recently. For 6 months, almost every night, she posted a new song, highlighting parts she believed were the most important and relevant. I read through the lyrics she had posted; all of them as sad and heartbreaking as the previous. I have a feeling it has something to do with why I always see her at the hospital. Only once did I actually have the guts to try to speak to her. She made up some BS about falling while rollerblading and spraining her wrist. Bella rollerblading is a joke. I knew it was a lie, but it wasn't and isn't my place.

I had seen her at the hospital with her parents two weeks prior to that. They were there to see my dad...the oncologist. He can't tell me anything because of Doctor/Patient confidentiality, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together.

The whole town knew about Mrs. Swan having breast cancer 5 years ago, and supposedly she was free and clear 2 years ago. Obviously, the celebration was a little bit premature. I don't know how bad it is this time, but the Swan family is tough, and I know they will get through this. Mrs. Swan is a fighter.

She was my favorite teacher in Middle School. Not only was she my _former _friend's mother, but she is just a nice person all around. I am truly horrible at drawing and art in general, but somehow my work always turned out pretty good. I know it wasn't because I had any talent for it; it was her. She just had a way about her that when she explained an assignment, you were excited to get to work and do your very best.

I stopped myself from thinking anymore of the Swan family tonight. I needed to get a good nights sleep for my game tomorrow. I doubt there will be scouts at the first game of the season, but I do need to play my best so they have a reason to hear about me and make the trip to see me in the immediate future.

I set my laptop back on the nightstand, turned down the volume just a bit on my iHome dock, and got comfortable until sleep took me over.

* * *

**A/N:** Again, I am sorry for the delay. I know this Chapter is a little shorter than previous, but with the game and the party in the next Chapter, it will definitely make up for the shortness of this one. Then you have to think about the after-party at Rose's. Thank you to those who are still with me and to all of the newcomers. Please review and tell me what you think. I revised the first two chapter a little bit. Some things felt a little off when I reread them.


	4. Analyze This

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay, again. Real life got in the way. I've been working a lot lately, went to Kings Island for my fiancé's company picnic, went to visit my family for my birthday, and had my annual Halloween party. My weekends have been non-stop go, go, go.

Thank you to all who are reading this story. I don't know why I do this, but it seems that I keep making minor adjustments to each of my Chapters. I always reread my previous Chapter before writing my new Chapter, so I usually end up adding a few things and editing to make the story flow better. I don't think any of the changes have been large enough that you would have to reread the story...it's just my own personal OCD to continue to tweek until it feels right to me.

This Chapter took a little bit longer to write because, as I said, real life got in the way again, and, also, there was so much happening in this chapter, including flip- flopping of POV's and I had a little bit of writers block...No party this Chapter. The characters refused to let me get there yet. Hope you enjoy anyways!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters, Stephenie Meyer does. Also, the song 'This Is A Call' belongs to Thousand Foot Krutch and the song 'Pretending' belongs to The Glee Cast.**

* * *

**This is A Call**

_...She's calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out,_

_'Cause every-time I fall down, I reach out to you,_

_and I'm losing all control now, and my hazard signs are all out,_

_I'm asking you, to show me what this life is all about..._

**Chapter 4 - Analyze This**

**Bella's POV**

_**What's wrong with falling in love?**_

_There is no reason to give up on love. Love is too beautiful to never be given a chance._

_If you need to fall apart _

_I can mend a broken heart _

_If you need to crash then crash and burn _

_You're not alone _

_Also, you have never been a child, so I doubt it was a 'child's crush'. Always an old soul. Too mature for you age. A look of love would suit you well._

_**Anonymous**_

This _Anonymous_ is really getting on my nerves. I signed on to LiveJournal, contemplating getting some writing in before bed, but I saw that _Anonymous_ had struck again.

After spending far to much time analyzing _Anonymous'_ comment, I didn't even know how to respond, so I decided I'm not going to this time. When I checked the time, it was already going on 9 o'clock and I needed to get some sleep since tomorrow is going to be a long day. _I guess I'm not writing tonight._ I decided to just post lyrics instead:

_**Pretending**_

_Face to face and heart to heart_

_We're **so close yet so far apart**_

_I **close my eyes** I **look away**_

_That's just because **I'm not okay**_

_But I hold on **I stay strong**_

_**Wondering** if we still belong_

_Will we ever **say the words** we're feeling_

_Reach down underneath it_

_**Tear down all the walls**_

_Will we ever have a **happy ending**_

_Or will we **forever only be pretending**_

_Will we (oh oh oh all) ways (oh oh oh all)ways (oh oh oh all) ways be...pretending_

_**How long **do I fantasize_

_Make believe that it's **still alive**_

_Imagine that I am **good enough**_

_If **we can choose** the ones we love_

_But I hold on I **stay strong**_

_**Wondering** if we still belong_

_Will we ever **say the words** we're feeling_

_Reach down underneath it_

_**Tear down all the walls**_

_Will we ever have a **happy ending**_

_Or will we **forever only be pretending**_

_Will we (oh oh oh all) ways (oh oh oh all)ways (oh oh oh all) ways be... **keeping secrets **safe_

_Every move we make_

_Seems like **no-one's letting go**_

_And it's **such a shame**_

_Cos' **if you feel the same**_

_**How am I supposed to know**_

_Will we ever **say the words** we're feeling_

_Reach down underneath it_

_**Tear down all the walls**_

_Will we ever have a **happy ending**_

_Or will we **forever only be pretending**_

_Will we (oh oh oh all) ways (oh oh oh all)ways (oh oh oh all) ways be... (pretending)_

_Will we (oh oh oh all) ways (oh oh oh all)ways (oh oh oh all) ways be...pretending, pretending_

_Will we (oh oh oh all) ways (oh oh oh all)ways (oh oh oh all) ways be...**pretending**_

_Wow!_ I need to stop watching Glee. It's making me all... sappy. Well, I'll take sappy over Emo any day.

After I pressed 'submit', I put my laptop away and got ready for bed. Plugging my phone into it's charger, making sure my alarms were all on, I set my Harry Potter playlist to play for the next hour. _Best sleeping music ever!_

As I laid my head down and got under the covers, I started to flash through the day I had...

...Alice nearly tackled me when I told her that I got into San Fran State. I think she actually started crying. This made her even more excited for tomorrows party. Soon we'll be signing up for classes and looking for off-campus apartments together. Truthfully, I was getting really excited, too, even though it still meant leaving my mom...

...Next, I sought out Rose to talk about the details of the weekend. First, I asked her if Alice and I could come over right after school to get ready for the party. Rose reminded me that tomorrow is the first baseball game of the year. Being head cheerleader, she kind of had to be there. _Well that changes things._ So Aly and I would be hanging around, watching the game, _and then_ the three of us would hurry to get ready when it was all over.

Second, I told her who all Em was bringing and that he promised to DD as long as we have some sort of after-party at her place to make up for it. She was excited about this idea. Rose started planning out some drinking games. _That should be interesting._

Lastly, I asked her if we could make a whole weekend out of it, per mom's rule to get me out of the house. I told her that it would probably only be Aly and I still over Saturday night. Rose said that was fine. She seemed just as excited about this as the "after-party"...

...When I got home, mom was having a 'bad' day, so she was holed up in her studio. I could tell just by the smell of skunk that hit me when I pulled into the driveway.

The cruiser was missing, so I knew dad was probably hanging back at the station. After our talk last night, a 'bad' day was most likely inevitable. Dad usually spent a little extra time working on days like this. Mom hated looking weak in front of him.

After dropping off my backpack, I went and knocked on the studio door. Mom let me in and gave me a big hug. We didn't need any words. I could see the tear stains all over her cheeks. She also looked really pale compared to yesterday. I'm guessing she spent probably as much time in the bathroom as she did in her studio today. After about ten minutes, I finally broke the silence and asked if she was sure she wanted me gone all weekend. She said she had to let me go, even if we both weren't quite ready for it, yet. This weekend would be the first of many trial runs, of sorts, before I leave for school.

The next thing I knew, mom was rolling up another joint. She asked me to throw a towel at the bottom of the door and to open the windows. After lighting one end, she took a couple hits and passed it to me.

Mom and I got high together every once in awhile. It doesn't phase me much anymore. The first time she handed me one of her joints, I thought it was a test. I mean, my dad _is _the Chief of Police. Mom said that she would rather my first time getting high be with her and that it would be our little secret.

Little did I know that Emmett and mom had a little secret of their own. Em seemed to have scored weed off our mom on multiple occasions. I found this bit of information out this past summer, the same weekend that Aly met Jasper. The four of us high was priceless.

When we got to the point where we couldn't smoke anymore, mom snuffed out the roach and I went to make some food for myself. Mom, of course, said she wouldn't be able to hold anything down today. I decided on something easy; Mac & Cheese. I didn't think I could make anything too much more elaborate with the buzz I had, but I was starving. I don't know how mom does it all the time. I ate; more like scarfed. When I was done, I excused myself, giving mom one more hug and kiss, and head to my room. Smoking usually makes me tired, after the initial buzz wears off...

And now here I am, staring at my ceiling, listening to my Harry Potter soundtracks, winding down from a pretty good high, wondering what the weekend will hold for me. I really need to let loose and have some more fun in my life. Mom was totally right when she said that I needed to stop hiding out at home..._Anonymous_ was right when they said I was hiding who I am. But I'm done with that. I cannot live a life of regrets.

With that epiphany, I finally passed out. Tomorrow will be a good day.

* * *

It was finally Friday. At the beginning of the week, when I suggested this party, I was kind of dreading this day coming. Now, I am actually pretty excited for tonight. I'm in the mood for some celebrating. I haven't drank for the sake of having a good time in over a year.

After spending a little extra time saying 'bye' to Mom this morning, I left for school with one more bag than usual, filled with enough clothes to last me a week.

Classes flew by, and before I knew it, Aly and I were sitting on my tailgate, waiting for Em to show up.

"Tonight is going to be epic. The party of the year!"

"Al, it's only the beginning of March. The year has barely started."

Before Alice could defend our party's awesomeness, Emmett pulled up next to my truck in his Toyota Highlander. "Hey, Baby B," Em said through his window. Jasper was sitting in the passenger seat, while Paul and Jared were in the second row.

"Emmy Bear!" I ran to Em as he got out of the car. I missed my big bro. Giving him the biggest hug I could muster, I heard a few snickers from inside the car. I don't care if I embarrass him in front of his friends. With his own baseball season started already, I know I won't really see Em again until my Graduation, unless I get the chance to go to some of his home games.

I was actually surprised that Em and the boys were able to miss practice today and coach made tomorrows practice optional. Em said he was still going to try to make it tomorrow, since it's a late practice, but it all depends on the hangover. They have a big double header on Sunday, so I guess his coach was letting his starters have a breather. They are 10 and 2, so coach told them they earned their free weekend, seeing as it is the only weekend until the end of the season that they do not have a game on either Friday or Saturday.

"So, Brother, I have big news." I hadn't been able to tell Em about my acceptance yet. When I stepped back a little from our hug, he gave me a look to continue. "I, um, uh... I kind of have a reason to celebrate tonight, too. I just got my acceptance to San Fran State."

Emmett rushed me for another hug, but not just any kind of hug. He squeezed me tight, lifted me up, and twirled me around until we both were dizzy. "You're fucking shitting me, right? Congrats, Bells! I'm so proud of you!" He turned a little so he was looking at Alice, "You're going to keep her out of trouble, right, Al? Oh, what am I saying? You'll probably be the one getting her into trouble."

"Hey! I resent that." Alice came over with a big pout on her face.

"I'm just kidding, Alley-cat. You know that." Em grabbed onto Alice and brought her in for a Bella sandwich.

Not sure if it was Paul or Jared, but one of them cleared their throat loudly. I guess all this lovey-dovey sibling stuff wasn't their forte.

"So, guys, you remember my sister, Bella, and this is her best friend, Alice. Bella, Alice, this is Jared and Paul. And I know y'all know Jazz."

Alice was all of a sudden shy. She was practically frozen with her mouth partially open. I think I even saw a little drool dribbling at the corner. I guess I found her kryptonite. A quiet Alice is almost an improbable occurrence.

I guess I should save her before she starts to feel any humiliation from her current state in front of Jasper. "Hey, boys. I hope your trip here was good. It was nice of you guys to come out and keep my brother company. Can't imagine hanging out with a bunch of high schoolers will be that much fun for you guys."

"We'll be alright, Bells. Don't worry about us." Jasper said, leaning over the drivers seat. Jared and Paul nodded their approval.

"Alright. If you're sure." I turned back to Em, pulling the money out of my pocket. "So, here's the $50 you asked for. I know you're better at the whole 'what alcohol to purchase' aspect of the party than I would be, so I know I shouldn't have to tell you what to get, but could you get me some Jack and at least a 2 liter of Diet Coke?" I ended with my irresistible puppy eyes, the ones that insured I always had my dad and brother wrapped around my finger.

"Whiskey, Bella? Really?" Alice finally opened her mouth. I guess I usually drank whatever she was drinking when we went to a party, which was usually something fruity... or beer. I didn't really enjoy either one. Mr. No. 7 has been a pretty good acquaintance of mine throughout my mom's treatments/recovery. He helped numb the pain and give me some semblance of feeling happy.

"Yeah, whiskey. I always get sick on the fruity stuff." That was true. It never settled in my stomach right. "Anyways," I said slowly as I turned back towards Em and the rest of the guys, "Boys, we have to go cheer on the Varsity guys baseball game and wait for Rose to be done with her cheer-leading duties. Em, you're going to have to stop by the house for a minute and pick up the coolers. I didn't want dad to get suspicious if I would have brought them with me to school. They have cups and tablecloths for the picnic tables already in them. Meet us at Rose's no later than 7:30. That will get us to the beach by 7:45-8:00-ish, and people should start arriving after that."

"That sounds good, B. I needed to talk to Mom anyways. We'll see you in a couple hours." Em gave me another hug, then got back in his SUV and took off.

"Come on, Aly. Let's go watch some baseball." _This should be fun._

I used to go to all the Boys' Varsity Baseball games with my dad when Em was on the team. Dad used to go to all the home games ever since he graduated from High School. He used to be the Spartan's #1 Fan. Of course he has no time for that now. Chief Swan is too busy helping provide for and take care of me and my mom.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

It's the Top of the 9th. We are up 2 to nothing.

Mike got a nice double in the 5th and Tyler followed him with a home-run. Not one Wolf had been on base until the 6th inning. It was in the 6th inning that I noticed a certain brown-haired beauty sitting in the stands. Because of this, I guess I was trying _too_ hard to get this next douche-bag out, and ended up walking him instead. I swore the last ball hit the corner of the plate, but the Ump saw it differently. He almost tossed me when I started dropping a couple 'F' bombs. _Oops._

When I calmed back down, I was able to strike out the next guy in just 4 pitches. Uley was up after him. He got a piece of my curveball, but it went straight to Connor at Shortstop. He was able to set up a quick double-play to Mike and then Ben to end the inning.

I still had a..._No!_ I can't even think the words. I just needed to finish this inning. 3 up, 3 down.

"Let's Go Spartans, Let's Go!" _**Clap, Clap, Clap!**_ "Let's Go Spartans, Let's Go!" _**Clap, Clap, Clap! **_"Let's Go Spartans, Let's Go!" _**Clap, Clap, Clap!**_ _Ugh! Cheerleaders._ I never understood why we had cheerleaders at our baseball games. I thought that was only a football thing. Football got the cheerleaders, basketball got the dance team at half-time, and baseball had the peanut and hot dog vendors... _Oh well._

Alright, time to get down to business.

Ty got into position, giving me the sign for a slider. I shook my head to deny it. I want to throw the heat. It didn't take long for Ty to understand that. He gave me the right sign and I gave him a half nod back, accepting the call.

I set my stance, lined the stitches up with my fingers, got my grip just right, brought my leg up and my arm back, and I launched it.

"Strike One!" They didn't even swing.

Ty threw the ball back to me. He gave me the sign for the curve this time. I decided to accept it. Once I was set, I threw the ball.

This time they swung, but... "Strike Two!" The ball _just barely_ missed the tip of his bat.

Tyler wanted me to finish this guy with a fastball, and I agreed. I threw the ball with all I had.

_Swing and..._ "Strike Three! You're out!" The words every pitcher loves to hear. I laughed a bit when I saw Ty shake his gloved hand after the pitch. _Oops._

Clearwater was up next. Ty and I decided on a curve to start off. The second the ball left my hand, I knew it was hittable. Seth swung, but only clipped it. The ball shot straight up. Tyler ran to get under it as he called out, "I got it! I got it," making sure Ben or I didn't try to go after it, too. We didn't need a collision, followed by an error, at this point in the game. The ball finally dropped back down, right into his glove.

"You're out!" _YES!_

Most of the team yelled out, "Nice catch, Ty!"

Black stepped up to the plate as their last batter, hopefully. I really wanted to get this guy out. He's the reason there was a brawl last year. Well, I guess I started the actual fight, but if he could just learn to shut his damn mouth, it would have never happened. I had one ball get away from me; it just happened to almost hit him in the head. He swore up and down to the Ump that I did it on purpose. When he started to charge the mound, I met him half-way and clocked him before he even saw it coming. The benches cleared and I ended up with a 3 game suspension. Coach Clapp wasn't going to allow any of that this year. Not with scouts paying extra attention to detail.

Tyler wanted me to throw the curve, but all I wanted was to give Black the pure heat. He finally gave me the sign I was looking for.

I threw the pitch. _Crack!_

"Fuck!" I yelled to myself. Black got a good piece of it and I watched the ball sail down the Third Base Line. "Go Foul! Please, go Foul! Go Foul! Please." I whisper-prayed.

I felt a tiny gust of wind right before the Ump yelled, "Foul Ball!"

_Thank you, baby Jesus!_ Ty got a new ball from the Ump, then called a timeout to meet me on the mound.

"Alright, Cullen, calm down and get this fucker out! You've got this. Let's try the curve this time. I know he has trouble hitting it." Ty slapped the ball in my glove, hit my ass with a 'good game', I gave him my 'thanks', and he turned to make his way behind the plate again.

I took a couple deep breaths, set my stance, and threw.

"Strike Two!" Ty was right. He can't hit the curve.

_One more, Cullen. Don't freak. You can do this._

I threw another curve-ball and Black fouled it off. He did the same with the next two curve-balls I threw. I tried a slider. It started high, but fell below his knees.

"BALL!" _Didn't fool him at all. _That ass had the balls to smirk at me. I mean, fuck! It was still only a 1-2 count. _Nothing to smirk at, douche!_

I just wanted to finish this. I gave up on the curve and the slider and requested the 2-seam fastball this time.

Deep breath. Feel the stitches. Tighten the grip. Set stance. Wind up. Throw.

Swing. Miss. "STRIKE THREE! You're out!" This time I smirked at him. _That's right fucker!_

"Fuck you, Cullen!" Black did not look happy. He threw his bat and looked like he was about to walk his way to the mound. _Just walk away, Cullen. It's not worth it. Walk away!_

"THE SPARTANS WIN! THE SPARTANS WIN! Cullen with a _no-hitter_. The first this school has seen in over a decade," the announcer's voice rang out over the entire field. _I fucking did it!_

My team had ran out onto the field to surround me before Black even had a chance. I think I even saw Ty shove him relatively hard on his way to the mound.

When the initial celebration was over, both teams went for the 'end-of-the-game handshakes'. When I got to Black, he grabbed my hand tight and leaned in, "This is not over, _Cullen_." He said my name with venom in his tone. "I heard about the match tonight. I'll see you there." With that, he walked away. _Shit!_

"Come on, Cullen. We have some celebrating to do!" Before heading to the locker room, I took one last look towards the stands. They were empty now, no doubt because everyone wanted to get home to get ready for the beach party. I was hoping to see her face one more time before tonight.

I wondered why she was here in the first place. She never came to sporting events, unless they involved her brother. I liked having her here, though. Yeah, I messed up a little after I saw her, but I was just surprised. After that, I played better than I ever have before. I want to believe it was because she was here. I wanted to impress her.

I remember once, during my Freshman year, Varsity was short on pitchers late in the season. A few of the guys were out with the flu or something like that. I was asked to move up from JV to Varsity for a couple games. The first game, they didn't need me. The second game, however, they called me in for middle relief. We _were_ up 5 to 3 in the 7th inning. The starting pitcher had just walked one player. The next batter came up and hit a home-run to tie the game.

I was so nervous pitching against these older guys. I felt like it was up to me to save the game. They let me throw a couple warm-up pitches before the next batter came up. _All of them_ were completely outside. I couldn't get myself under control. The Ump called "Batter up!" I took a deep breath and before I threw my first pitch, I looked up into the stands. Bella was sitting there with the Chief, wearing Emmett's practice jersey. Seeing her there calmed my nerves. I don't know why.

When I brought my gaze back to the 6'4" mammoth of man standing at the plate, my jaw dropped. I hadn't hit my growth spurt, yet, so I was still just a little thing. Almost a whole foot shorter than him. I would be lying if I said he didn't intimidate me.

My first pitch was a fastball, low and inside. It was also the first strike thrown in this inning. I was shocked. So was the rest of my team. And their team, too. Even better, all I threw were strikes and quickly ended the top of the 7th. Coach was impressed.

Emmett got a 2-run home-run in the bottom, and coach used our closer for the rest of the game. He said he didn't want to push our luck. We won the game 7 to 5.

I like impressing people. I wonder if I can impress her tonight.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

Seeing Edward out there today was just like Freshman year. He was absolutely amazing...

"Isabella, I think I love you!" Alice yelled from the other room, succeeding at pulling me from my reminiscing. _What the hell is she rambling about now?_

"And why is it that you love me so much, Al?" I was in the bathroom, finishing putting on my make-up. It was the first time I wore any type of make-up in weeks. I didn't wear it much in the first place, just when I was dressing up. I finished my mascara on my left eye, took one last look at my whole face in the mirror, before joining Alice and Rose in Rose's bedroom.

"Because you know me so well." Alice was riffling through my bag at the clothes I brought.

"Al, I could never deny my fashion major best friend a chance to dress me up. I am your Bella Barbie, tonight. _'You can brush my hair - And dress me everywhere - Imagination, that is your creation',_" I sang, warranting a chuckle from Rose. Maybe we can be friends. It's looking good so far.

"Bella, are you sure you want to open those floodgates? You are going to be her roommate for at least the next 4 years. You know she's going to think she can dress you everyday." Rose had a point there. This might be a bad idea.

"If Alice thinks that I am going to class in anything but a t-shirt and pajama pants _everyday_, she has something else coming to her. I'll move into the dorms in the blink of an eye, right, Aly?"

"I know. I know," Alice sulked. "But, I get Friday nights to Sunday afternoons, right?"

"No, Al, you don't. You get to dress me _only_, and I really mean _**only**_, when we are going to a party or a club or something of that nature." I know this is never going to stick. Alice's puppy dog eyes are more lethal than my own. I just hope I can hold my ground on the whole PJ's to class thing.

"Okay, that's fine," She didn't really sound fine with it. "Alright, enough with future talk. Let's get you dressed. Tonight is going to be A-mazing!"

The three of us were just finishing getting ready when we heard the doorbell ring. Rose practically flew to her front door, yelling "I've got it!" on her way. Rose opened the door to reveal Em and the rest of the boys. "Right on time. Come on in. We were just finishing up."

Alice grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me back into the bedroom. "B, do I look alright? I mean, is this the right outfit? Should I change?" This was new. Alice rarely second guessed her own outfit choices.

Alice was wearing this beautiful light grey cashmere tunic sweater-dress, paired with dark grey leggings and black ballet flats. _She's only wearing flats because it is impossible to wear heels at the beach, which I had to remind her of at least 10 times while she was dressing me._ The neck of her dress is drapey and can be worn a few different ways. Right now she had it in cowl-neck position.

"Aly, you know you look great. This is what you plan to do with your life. You've always been an amazing dresser!" I knew she was just self-conscious because of Jasper. Maybe just a little more sex appeal and she'd feel better. "How about you bring the neck of the dress down to off-the-shoulder? Just a little skin and you'll be driving all the guys crazy." I knew she only cared about one guy tonight, but I didn't want her to think it was _so_ completely obvious.

"You know what, Bells? I think you're right." She then started to go into her dress to disconnect one of the straps on her bra and then adjusted the neck of the dress so her right shoulder was exposed.

"Perfect, Al. Now let's go. We have some celebrating to do."

* * *

**Edward's POV**

_I just pitched a no-hitter the first game of the season against our biggest rivals!_ How awesome am I?

I decided to forgo taking a shower in the locker room after the game because I wanted to head straight home and get a few swings at the heavy bag before the fights tonight. Knowing I would probably end up facing Black, whether it be in the final round of the match or after the whole thing is over, I wanted to make sure I was ready. If I loosen up a bit, there is far less chance of me injuring myself. My arm was already sore enough from pitching, but if I just kept it moving; kept the adrenaline pumping, I'll be able to do more damage to my opponents later.

"Edward, sweetheart, give it a rest," my mother called down the stairs. I guess I was down here longer than expected. I looked at the clock which revealed it was already going on 7. _Shit!_ "Dinner is almost ready. Get in the shower before the smell makes me lose my appetite."

"Yes, mother!" I chuckled. I have been known to clear a room after working out down here.

After unwrapping my gloves, I ran up the two flights of stairs, to my room, and into my bathroom. A nice hot shower sounded perfect. Keep the blood flowing.

The warm water felt amazing on my muscles. I felt no pain in my shoulder, which was good.

Hopefully, I won't have to use my arms very much and I will be able to knock them out with a couple good kicks. That would be ideal.

After washing my hair and body, _twice_, I turned off the shower and got dressed. I decided a nice black t-shirt, some loose-fit jeans, and my Chucks would be a good enough outfit for tonight. I can move pretty well in jeans and we take off our shirt and shoes, anyways.

I was dressed and ready when I made it to the dinning room, right on time, too. Mom had just put the food on the table. Spaghetti and garlic bread. _Mmmm mmm!_ One of my favorites. "Mom, this looks delicious." I went over to her and gave her a big and a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you." _Always a momma's boy_...even if... Never mind.

Dad had unfortunately come home while I was in the shower. "Yes, Esme dear. Everything looks amazing."

"Why, thank you, gentleman. How are my two favorite men doing today?" Mom said as she took her own seat.

I always let dad go first. Age before beauty and all that jazz. "Oh, well, actually, today wasn't a very good day. One of my patients has really been struggling the last couple of days. I hope they pull through. We think they might be getting sick and their immune system is having a hard time fighting the bug. It is quite frustrating, to say the least. They were doing so well though-out their recovery." Dad was always very good about not revealing too much to us about his patients because of Doctor/Patient confidentiality. Not even if they are a he or a she. I know he gets attached to them and always hopes for full recovery from every one of his patients, but we all know it can't _always_ happen. Cancer is unpredictable and so is how different people handle the treatments. If this person doesn't recover, dad will feel responsible and he will mourn them in his own way...by getting drunk every night in his home office, for a month, at the very least. I've seen it far too many times.

"What about you, Edward?" I could hear the cracking in mom's voice as she tries to change the subject. She really does have too big of a heart. She cares about people she doesn't even know.

"Um, well, my first game of the season was today." Here it comes...

"Edward Anthony! Why didn't you tell us? I would have come to support you." _Ugh!_ I felt bad about not telling mom, but couldn't care less about not telling dad. I knew he was too busy to show up and I didn't want mom to have to sit alone. _I know. Horrible excuses_.

"I know you guys are busy. It wasn't a big deal. We have plenty more home games that you can come to. I'll put the schedule on the fridge for you, if you want." Now I was just rambling.

"So, did you win?" It hasn't gone unnoticed by me that Daddy Dearest hasn't said a word to me since we sat down to dinner. He said his sad story and started eating his spaghetti in silence. I don't even think he's even paying attention the conversation anymore.

I roll my eyes as I glance at my _father_, then turn my attention back to my mother. "Yeah, we won 2 to nothing. I pitched a no hitter, actually."

My mother's face brightened up as she squealed in delight. "Oh, hunny, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you." _At least one of them is_.

"Thanks, ma! It was a great game. We were actually against our biggest rivals, too. We all played an awesome game."

The rest of dinner went by quickly after that. I knew I was running late, since I decided to have that extra workout after the game. "Uh, mom? I'm sorry to eat and run, but some of the guys were wanting to celebrate our win. I won't be home too late."

"Oh. Okay, sweetie. Love you! Have fun and stay out of trouble, please."

"Will do, momma. Love you! Bye, Dad." _Ugh!_ The man frustrates me to no end. I went and put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher and ran out the door.

I looked next door as I got into my car and saw Rose's car and Bella's truck in Rose's driveway. _Huh._ That's interesting. I checked my phone for the time and it was already 8:15. _Maybe they all went in Alice's car?_

Why am I analyzing this?

After starting my car, I drove as legally fast as I could to First Beach. I think a half hour late is really stretching that whole _fashionably late_ business. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now.

When I arrived, there were cars everywhere. It looked as though the whole Junior and Senior class showed up. I finally found a spot to park a little ways down the road. It took me another 10 minutes just to walk back to where the party was. _Yup!_ Really late now.

As I walked up to the group of my peers, I yelled, "Edward Cullen has arrived! The party may now commence!"

* * *

**A/N:** So, the Chapter started to get really long. Longest one yet. I decided this was the best place to stop. Obviously, the party and the fights will be next...maybe the after-party, but that may become it's own Chapter. We'll see.

Please, review and give me some constructive criticism. I need it. I hope the next Chapter doesn't take so long.


	5. No Big Deal

**A/N:** Real life - AKA the Holiday season - delayed this chapter. Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Holiday's in general. Thank you to everyone reading this story. I haven't received as many reviews as I would like, but I have about 40 people who have this story on alert/fav and 1,600 views. Only 4 Chapters in, and this story is doing better than my first. Every time I see an alert, my need to write increases tenfold. **Just a suggestion if you want Chapters faster**

I guess I should probably tell everyone this... I have never experienced cancer, nor do I know much about breast cancer. My Grandfather died of Lung Cancer and my High School Art teacher is a Breast Cancer survivor. I also know a couple kids with/survived Leukemia. I have done a lot of research on this subject and also have taken what I have seen in movies, TV shows, and how I personally felt about how cancer effects not only the person with it, but everyone who comes in contact with that person.

I'm trying really hard with all of my research regarding this story, including every school/college/university mentioned.

**Since Recreational Marijuana legalization was not established in Washington when I started this story, for sake of the story, I guess I must date the beginning for March 2012, because I have been thinking about adding the legalization in.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters, Stephenie Meyer does. Also, the songs 'This Is A Call' and "What Do We Know" belong to Thousand Foot Krutch and the song 'Monster' belongs to Skillet.**

* * *

**This is A Call**

_... Have you ever felt this way before?_

_'cause I don't wanna hide here anymore._

_Take me to place where nothing's wrong and thanks for coming, shut the door._

_They say someone out there sees us,_

_Well if you're real then save me Jesus,_

'_cause I've been this way for far too long._

_I wasn't meant to feel alone..._

**Chapter 5 - No Big Deal**

**Bella's POV**

"Edward Cullen has arrived! The party may now commence!"

_Oh Fuck!_ I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he's here. The whole Junior and Senior classes are here, and he just won a huge game for his team. _God, he looks amazing! _Messy bronze hair, emerald green eyes, a fitted black tee that make his arms and chest look absolutely delicious. _Wipe your mouth, Bella! You seem to be drooling._

Okay. Those kinds of thoughts are not going to get me anywhere. I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to rid it of the never-ending cycle of inappropriate thoughts I was having of Edward Cullen. _Never going to happen. Never want it to happen._ Oh, who am I kidding? First crushes never really go away.

Keeping my eyes closed, I threw my head back and tried to tune out everything, except for the music coming from the playlist that I had on my phone that Alice said was_ 'perfect for tonight_.' I hated having my phone on the dock, for all to see and hear, and not actually on me. It would have been a good distraction for me while I sit here, away from mostly everyone, sipping on my Jack&Diet.

Alice picked this playlist because it's artists have a _unique sound_; a mix between rock and ballad. You won't hear many of these songs on the Top 40, if at all. I wonder if I should tell Al that all of these artists are considered Christian Rock bands? I do not see myself as a religious person, but I have become oddly obsessed with this band called Thousand Foot Krutch.

I started to sing along with one of my favorite songs of theirs as it came on.

_...We all try to be somebody _

_But the world around us makes it so cloudy _

_When we don't trust where we're supposed to _

_But the blood on the hands says we're not close to the answer, yeah _

_But maybe if we pull together we can change _

_A million lives for the better _

_And maybe if we prayed a little more _

_We will stop living in fear from the storm and everyone sings _

_What do we know? What do we know? _

_What do we know? What do we know? _

_What do we know? What do we know? _

_I'll tell you what they're all saying..._

"I've never heard this song before, but I like it. You have a good voice." I immediately ceased my singing as I jumped at the voice next to me.

"_Shit! _You fucking scared me!" I opened my eyes and looked to my left to see Paul sitting on the picnic table with me. "Please don't _ever_ do that again."

"Sorry. That wasn't my intention. Honest." He put his hands up in surrender. "So, what are you doing over here all alone, Bells?"

"Just enjoying the party the only way I can." Paul gave me a weird look, so I continued, "I'm not much of a people person. The actual party is more for Alice than me."

"So why come if you don't enjoy it?"

"Aly's my best friend. She would kill me if I wasn't here. And it was kind of my idea. She deserves to be celebrated. I've been a crap friend lately, and I just thought this would make up for some of it." Why am I baring my soul to this almost total stranger? _God, I need help. _

"Makes sense, kind of." Great. Now he thinks I'm a freak.

"So, are you having a good time? I can't imagine a high school party could hold much of a flame to a frat or sorority party."

"Truthfully, it's not bad. Some guys looked like they were starting a MMA fight match down the beach a bit, not that I could join in the fun. Coach would kill me if I got hurt." He seemed a little excited about being a spectator of a bunch of guys kicking each others ass for no reason.

"Oh," I said with little emotion. I really do not understand why guys feel like they need to punch things/people to maintain their masculinity.

"Well, I'll leave you to it." Paul stood up and it looked like he was about to walk away. "Oh, I almost forgot," he said as he quickly turned back around. "McCarty was looking for you."

"McCarty?" Who the hell is that?

"Your brother?" He looked at me like I was crazy for not knowing what he was talking about. "Yeah, he said if I saw you to send you over to fringe of trees near the edge of the beach."

"Thanks, Paul. Have fun watching my idiot classmates kill each other."

"Oh. I will." He laughed as he walked toward a huge crowd of guys down the beach. _So dumb._

I went in search of my brother, not only because Paul told me he was looking for me, but also to find out why his teammates call him by his middle name. He never went by McCarty in High School. His team called him either Em, E, Big E, or Swan.

I found Em right where Paul said he would be, along with Jazz and Rose. The closer I got, the reason for him trying to find me got clearer. I could smell it before I saw it.

"Bro, you couldn't even wait for me?" I yelled from a couple feet away.

"I didn't know how long you would be and Jazz was getting a little impatient."

"Was not! It was your idea," I heard Jazz whisper, thinking I wouldn't hear him.

"Whatever!"

"Here ya go, Bells." Jazz had passed me the blunt. _Mmmm, Strawberry._

"Thanks, Jazz." I turned back to my brother. "This doesn't really help with you being DD, Em. What the fuck?" I pointed the blunt at him with narrowed eyes before taking my hit and passing it to Rose. This kind of pissed me off. I know a hit or two wouldn't alter him enough to make it dangerous, but I didn't want to chance it when he would be driving a car with 3+ underage drinkers.

"I'm not smoking it. Just getting a little second-hand while y'all smoke. I promise. I can wait until later. Just thought you might want to join these guys now."

I was still holding in the smoke during his little rant. I finally let it out slowly, effectively refraining from coughing it back up. "So, is this why you wanted to see Mom? Too score some weed off her? If Dad ever found out, he'd be so pissed," I said as I downed the rest of my drink.

"Are you kidding me? Dad has no place to talk. He's smoked with Mom plenty of times. Yup, that's right. The Chief hits the Mary Jane on occasion." _Why does that not surprise me?_

The blunt had gone full circle and was being passed back to me. Before taking my hit, I decided to ask Em about his new name. "So, Mr. Big Shot. Why are your teammates calling you McCarty? I had no idea who Paul was talking about at first."

He took a big breath and rolled his eyes. "Well, when I made starter mid-season last year, the guys were teasing me on how Swan was too girly of a name. And then there is Embry, who is a year ahead of us, who already goes by Em. I don't know. Someone asked what my middle name was and it's been all downhill from there."

"But Emmy, you're such a graceful Swan," I teased, earning giggles from Rose and a hearty laugh from Jazz.

"Shut it, B, or I'll leave you all here."

"Shuttin' it!" Then we all busted out laughing.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"Cullen! You made it. We almost started without you." Newton found me first.

"Of course I'm here. I'd never miss a fight. Parentals just wanted to congratulate me on the game. Took a little extra time to slip away." Could be true, right?

"You were on fire today."

"Thanks, man. You and Ty were great on offense. I hope everyone else steps up their game. I can't always play that spectacularly." We laughed as I walked with Mike over to the Keg to pour myself a drink.

I handed the first cup to Mike, then poured another for myself. "At the end, I thought we were going to have a repeat of last year. Jake almost rushed the mound again." Mike started laughing.

"I'm glad he didn't, but he did make it sound like he'd be here tonight. I really don't want any trouble. Not after what happened last time. I already told Ty, one fight and I'm done. If he doesn't make it to the final round, tough shit. I can't afford even the chance of messing up my arm."

"We also better hope the Chief doesn't get called this time. I doubt it, since Em's here, but you never know."

"Wait, Emmett's here? Where?" I started to search the party, but couldn't see around a couple Juniors in front of me. _Didn't the college season start already? Why is he here?_ Well, there _is_ an obvious reason. Bella must have called him.

"I last saw him with Rose and some guy by the trees. I asked him if he wanted in the match, but he said 'no'."

Of course he said 'no'. He can't risk injury or an 'assaulting a minor' charge if the cops did get called. He'd get thrown from the team and lose his scholarship.

"Come on. Ty's about to get things started. We need our reigning champ waiting for the Championship Round."

"I'll be right there." I took one last look in the direction where Newton said he last saw Em and that's when I saw her. I knew she'd be with him. She could care less for parties, but if Emmett was around, she usually loosened up a bit. She looked amazing. She was wearing a pair of tight, 'well-worn' bootcut, light-blue jeans, a white wife beater, and a gray and pink striped sweater. Her sweater was loose around the shoulders, showing just the right amount of skin, but hugged the rest of her body, showing off her wonderful curves. _Gorgeous!_

I was about to head over to her, but thought better of it. The guys were waiting on me. I made my way to the crowd. There was already some yelling, so I guess they already started.

_Shit!_ I finally got close enough to see who was fighting. Well, he made good on his promise. Black was fighting Lee and it didn't look like this was going to last much longer. If this was the first fight, I still had 6 fights to sit through before it was my turn...and Black still had to win two more matches before he would even face me. By then he could be too worn out and it would be an easy win.

I know it doesn't seem completely fair that he may be worn down and tired, but it's also a disadvantage to me to not have fought at all because I'd be going in cold...well, if I hadn't warmed up before heading out here, but no one knows that. There's always a method to my madness.

"Lee taps out. Jake Black moves to the next round!" Ty announced from the sidelines. "Next up, Newton and Austin. Get ready! You start in two minutes!"

Ty jumped down and head towards me. "Dude, you finally made it! What took so long?"

"I had to celebrate the win with the fam. You know how it is. Dad had to work late, so he wanted to hear the play-by-play." Lying got easier and easier every time.

"Oh, yeah. I know. If my Dad wasn't there, he'd definitely want to know all the details. Especially with how many times I saved your ass."

I gave him a little friendly shove. "Yeah, right! If anything, I had to keep correcting your mistakes. You know I would have never walked that guy if I threw my fastball instead of all those change-ups and sliders."

Ty shoved me right back. "Whatever! Hey, I gotta get back over there. You're ready, right?" I shrugged. "Well, it's looking like Black has you're number and I don't think he has much competition getting there."

"Yeah, I'm ready for him." _God, I hope so._ The guy was huge. I'm surprised I was able to even knock him out last year. I'm going to really have to study his moves during the next two rounds.

* * *

I watched Jake take down Mike with a little more difficulty than Lee. I guess that was a good sign. Mike isn't a small guy, but he has very little skill. He just likes to throw his weight around, which usually helped him win, but in this case, Jake had about a foot in height and 30lbs more muscle on him.

Jake had some skill, too. I'll give him that. He looked like mostly a boxing type. Not much foot-work. That's where I usually have a 'leg-up' on the competition. _Pun totally intended._ I have a deadly roundhouse.

"Connor takes down Uley!" Ty yells into the crowd. "He moves onto the Semi-Finals against Jake. 15 minutes, boys! Get ready!"

I decided to jog down the beach to get warmed up again. I also just needed to get away to think. I'm still not sure why the idea of fighting used to make me feel so good, so happy... _Used to?_

My first fight was right around the time Carlisle and I had our falling out. That was Freshman year. I was doing a Family Tree paper for my Humanities class. I had added Carlisle and Esme as my Aunt and Uncle, not as my parents, like Carlisle would have preferred. They _are_ the only parents that I have ever known. I've always called them Mom and Dad, but their DNA did not create me. I felt that the assignment was more about genetics and explaining how I became the person that I am now than to lie about who I am to placate the only person I will ever call father. Not many people know that the Cullen's aren't my real parents, but I never really considered it a secret. Carlisle must have thought differently.

I know Carlisle sometimes resented my relationship with Esme, too. Esme and I are actually blood related, her being my biological mother's sister, and all. I think because of the assignment, Carlisle got it into his head that I will never see him as my father. But truthfully, that's all I see him as. Sure, I wish I could have met my bio-parents, but that has always been an impossibility. I love Carlisle and Esme. They are my parents and always will be. I will always be a Cullen, not a Masen. I wish Carlisle could see that.

"Hey, Cullen!" The voice snapped me out of my deep thoughts. I took a look at my surroundings and realized I had wondered quite a ways from the party. Ben was running towards me. "Hey, man. You're almost up. Jake beat Connor. Hope you're ready."

"Thanks, Ben. Let's head back."

Jake was ready when I got back to the group. A much larger crowd had formed; most of the party. Truthfully, I was actually becoming nervous. I've never been this nervous before a fight before. Right then and there, I decided this was my last recreational fight. I'm going to stick to the heavy bag. Fighting no longer gives me the same feeling it did when I started.

"If I win, Black, this settles everything. I'm done fighting."

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Hey. What's going on over there?" Jasper pointed to the opposite side of the beach, asking about the much larger group of people that had been slowly growing over the last half hour.

"Those are some of my idiot peers that think fighting each other into pulp, for no reason other than sport, is fun." Why are boys so dumb? What does fighting actually prove? _Cavemen._

"We should go watch," Rose suggested. "From what I heard, Edward is fighting in the final round." _Edward?_ Didn't he get hurt enough last time?

Dad told me all about the party/fight he broke up back in October. He said he barely recognized Edward, his face was so swollen.

"Go on ahead. I need another drink. I'll be there in a minute." I watched as Rose, Jasper, and Emmett went to join the group, finding Aly on their way.

I went over to the liquor table to find my pint of Jack that I hid. If I was going to watch the only guy I have ever had feelings for get beaten up, I don't want to be sober for it. My high was starting to die down, so I just needed a little of my liquid courage to get me through.

After replacing my pint back into the Keg bucket and filling the rest of my glass with soda, I decided to give the idiots fighting some good music to work with. It definitely fit the situation. I queued the song on my playlist, turned the speakers toward the crowd, turned up the volume, and went to join my brother and our friends.

_The secret side of me I never let you see_

_I keep it caged, but I can't control it_

_So stay away from me, the beast is ugly_

_I feel the rage and I just can't hold it_

When I got there, the fight had already started. No one seemed hurt yet. Actually, it looked like they were hugging each other. "So, who's winning?" I asked.

_It's scratching on the walls in the closet, in the halls_

_It comes awake, and I can't control it_

Alice jumped to my side before answering, "That Black kid got a few punches in right off the start, but Edward had him down for a second with a kidney shot."

_Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?_

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

The fighters finally pulled apart. They both rounded the circle, never showing their backs to their opponent, trying to find a way back in to take the other down. Black was the first to rush back in, but Edward moved quickly to counter. He kicked Black's legs out from under him.

_My secret side I keep hid under lock and key_

_I keep it caged, but I can't control it_

_'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?_

As the chorus repeated, things moved too quickly for me to understand what was actually happening. Both never looking like they were gain ground on the other.

_It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp_

_There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart_

_No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream_

_Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster_

Edward caught Black off guard with a right, then left jab. As the song came to a close, his leg came up and around, knocking Black out cold.

"CULLEN DOES IT AGAIN!" someone yelled out to the crowd. Everyone cheered, but my eyes were on Edward. He didn't look too good himself. Did no one else notice?

I pushed my way through the crowd and made it to Edward just before he collapsed. There was a collective gasp right before I was surrounded by my classmates with an unconscious Edward Cullen in my lap.

"My God! Move back! Give him some space," I yelled, effectively getting the crowd to disperse some. "Edward, wake up! Edward, come on." I kept shaking him, trying to get him to open his eyes. "Emmett!" I had no idea what to do. I thought maybe Em would know. I mean, he should know something about sports injuries, right?

I noticed a few of the Sequim players helping the other guy out. At least he was awake, now. Why wasn't Edward waking up?

"Bells. Fuck! How did you know he was going collapse?" Emmett finally made it to me. He helped me shift Edward off my lap. "Here. Let me look at him."

"I don't know. When he looked at the crowd after the win, it didn't look right. His eyes almost looked glazed over. I knew something was wrong," I explained as Em started checking Edward's pulse. He then raised Edward's eyelids to check his pupils.

"His pulse is a little high and his pupils are reactive. He should be fine, but we need to get him to wake up. He probably has a concussion." Just as Em said that, Edward started to stir. He was groaning quite a bit. I wonder if he's in a lot of pain. He didn't look too beaten up. Not like last time. He had a cut near his left eyebrow and bruises forming on his chest, but nothing too severe.

I took a look around and saw that the party was pretty much ending. Only a few people lingered to see that Edward was okay; his teammates, Tyler, Mike, and Ben. Then there was our group, which Aly and Rose seemed to be entertaining the boys while they waited.

My voice was a little shaky as I looked back down at Edward. "Hey. Edward? Can you open your eyes? We need you to wake up?" I shut my eyes and did something that I haven't done in over a year. I prayed. _Please, God, let him be okay. _

"There you are. You scared us, buddy," I heard Em say. My eyes flew open and were met with a pair of gorgeous emerald green eyes. "Can you sit up?" Emmett asked. Edward nodded.

With our help, we finally got Edward sitting up on his own. Em told Tyler, Mike, and Ben that we'll take care of him so they didn't have to wait any longer. I, on the other hand, haven't been able to take my eyes away from his. _Maybe I should ask him something so I don't seem too much like a freak who just stares?_ "Hey, how are you feeling?" _Smooth._ The guy just passed out. Of course he feels like shit. Who wouldn't?

"Like I just got hit in the head with a line-drive," he chuckled. Em laughed, too, until I shot him a glare. Well, at least he has his humor, even if I don't think it's funny.

"Alright, well now that you're awake, let's get you standing." Emmett's going to be a great doctor.

We got Edward to his feet, but he was still a little woozy. "Em, help me get him too his car. I'll drive hime home."

"Um, no! You're not driving. You've been drinking. That's the whole reason I'm here tonight. He'll ride with us." I love my overprotective brother, but sometimes he doesn't think things through.

"First, there's no more room in your car if all of us go. The trunk will be filled with the coolers, so that's not even a seating option. Second, I have had only two drinks in 4 hours. I'm fine. Third, we can't just leave his car here. It most likely is not in an actual parking spot, meaning it is illegally parked and will get impounded if it's here over night."

"I had to park down the road," Edward mumbled.

"See. Em, you don't have to worry. He lives next door to Rose. You can follow right behind me. We can get him into the car, I'll help you guys load up, and then we can all leave together." I could see Em's resolve leaving him as I fought my case.

But Edward didn't. "I can drive myself home. I'm feeling fine now."

"No!" we all said as a group.

"I'm not really ready to go home yet. It's okay. I can just sit in my car for a little while until I find my bearings," Edward said, trying to win his own case.

Rose shot that down fast. "Edward, if you don't want to go home yet, which I can't blame you for how you look right now, you can always hang out at my house with the rest of us. I'll even call your mom, if you want."

"Fine! Fine. But I'll call my mom myself, thank you." Edward turned back to me, "Bella, are you sure you don't mind?" His eyes were looking back into mine again. I tried to look away, but only got as far as to stare at his still-bare chest. _Oh my._ "Bella?"

"What? Huh?" _Shit!_ Finally when I was able to look away, I replied, "Yeah. That's no problem. We should probably get going."

Em helped Edward to his car while I gathered his things that were still in a pile on the beach; shirt, shoes and socks, wallet, belt, keys, and his iPhone. I pressed the unlock button on his key-fob a few times on my way to his car. It must have worked because Em had already sat him in the passengers seat by the time I caught up. I handed him his things before turning to help the others pack up.

Before I could get away, Edward caught my arm. I turned back to look at him as he said, "Thank you."

"It wasn't a big deal. Just right place at the right time." We both knew that wasn't true. There were so many people closer that could have helped. I walked away before he could make a bigger deal out of this.

I ran back to the rest of the group. They had most of the stuff packed up already. "Hey, B, here's your phone." Alice handed me phone. I was about to check to see if I had any messages or missed calls when Alice pulled me away from the group. "Are you sure you're going to be okay with Edward?"

Alice knows I haven't really been around Edward since 7th grade, so I understood her apprehension, but it was unnecessary. "I'll be fine, Al. And either way, I'm the only other person sober enough to drive him."

I finished helping load up Emmett's car. "Alright, I'll see you guys back at Rose's." I went to head back to Edward's car, but stopped when I heard someone behind me.

Emmett turned me around and picked me up in a big bear hug. "Be careful, please," he whispered.

"I promise, Emmy Bear. You'll be right behind me the whole way," I told him, hugging him back as tightly as I possibly could. "I love you, Big Brother. See you in a few minutes."

"Love you, too, Baby B." Em finally let me go and I made my way to Edward's Volvo.

I opened the driver's side door and got in. The car was already running, which meant it was already nice and warm inside. I looked over at Edward, noticing his shoes and shirt were back on... _Thank goodness... _and his eyes were closed. _Shit!_ "Edward! Wake up!" I yelled while shaking his arm.

His eyes flew open in shock. "Fuck! Calm down. I wasn't asleep. I only just closed my eyes."

"Sorry. You might have a concussion. I know you're not supposed to go to sleep. When I saw your eyes closed, I freaked out a bit." Now I'm embarrassed.

"Freaked out _only_ a bit? Ya think? I know what a concussion is. My dad is a doctor and all."

I put the car in drive as I repeated "sorry" a couple more times. A blush started taking over my face.

"It's fine. Please stop saying 'sorry'. I just got off the phone with my mom. I was afraid someone might have called them after what happened. Thankfully no one did. My dad would probably murder me if he did. I was just acting out of relief when you sat down." He took a deep breath. Probably still adjusting after being unconscious. "So, I told my mom that I was with Rosalie and a few other people. I said that Rose invited me over and that I won't be home until late. I didn't want her to stay up, so I also told her that everyone was staying the night at Rose's so she won't have to worry about chaperoning." He shot me his infamous crooked smile.

"Does she do that a lot?"

"Every time Rose's parents go out of town," he chuckled. "She just doesn't want anyone driving drunk."

I looked into the rear-view to make sure Emmett was still behind us. We were about half way back to Rose's when Edward spoke again. "Thanks again for helping me. I was surprised to see you though. Weren't you at the back of the crowd?"

_He knew where I was before he passed out? Shit!_ "Um, I noticed you didn't look too well when the fight was over. No one else seemed to notice, so..." I decided to trail off there. I didn't want it to seem like I was obsessed with him or anything.

I caught his smile in the corner of my eye. "Well, I'm glad it was you."

"Uh, you're welcome," I mumbled back.

We finished the drive in relative silence and had made it to Edward's. "Where should I park your car?" I didn't want to block anyone in or park in the wrong spot.

"In front of the house should be fine." I parked his car in the street, turned it off, handed him the keys, and made to get out. I was stopped when his hand shot out in front of me. "Wait. Can I ask you something?"

_Um..._ "That depends on what it is," I replied. He looked very torn at what he wanted to ask me. It made me a little apprehensive.

"Why did you stop talking to me in Middle School?" he said sadly.

"Edward, we grew apart. We rarely saw each other. Had no classes together. You had your friends, I had mine. We both had a lot going on in our lives...we just grew apart. It happens." _I wish it didn't._ I know this was a lie, but it was the reason why we continued to not talk to this day. I didn't feel like discussing this anymore, so I tried to leave again. This time he let me.

I made my way to Rose's house. Everyone was already inside. I could hear my brother's boisterous laughter from the porch. I was about to open the door when I was spun around and Edward's lips crashed into mine.

* * *

**A/N:** A little bit of a cliffhanger. What was going on in Edward's mind during the post-fight/car ride? Next Chapter will be the after-party party. Hopefully it will not take another 3 months. I had half of this written before Christmas, but just got busy and lost some motivation. I'm trying though.

Please review.


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